A journey through my day, if you please:
On Saturday, it was a lovely day. But it's usually that way in Miami Beach.
So I took the opportunity to visit the mostly-empty laundromat.
While waiting for the cycle to end, I sat in some chairs against the wall; I was sitting for about 10 minutes when a man walked past, carrying some clothes. "Look in my bag," he said, "there's a surprise in there." And he pointed to a paper bag that, coincidentally, was in the seat next to me.
I hadn't even noticed it. The man kept walking; so with no reason to do otherwise, I took a careful peek over the bag's edge.
THIS is what I saw.
Yeah. Holy shit.
I am not scared of snakes whatsoever; but this thing made me gasp. The man heard me, chuckled, and returned to us. "She's my baby," he said. And he pulled it OUT OF THE BAG AND DROPPED IT ON THE FLOOR OF THE LAUNDROMAT.
Notice the guy's foot at the left side of the photo, which helps put this monster into scale. It was, like, 8 feet long at least. What you can't see in this photo is the enormous lump from the rat that the snake just ate a few days before. Lovely.
The man then asked me out.
I said no, thanks.
OMG!! That's insane! I would've run out of the place, that's so scary.
Posted by: Adinda | May 04, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Weren't you curious about the date?!? If a snake in the bag is his pick up line, I wonder how he gets guys to bed him... On second thought, glad you did not accept the invitation!
Posted by: BustersDad | May 04, 2009 at 12:06 PM
That's exactly why I keep telling you that TL needs to help out with the laundry. This never would have happened if he was there...
Posted by: Catherine | May 04, 2009 at 12:29 PM
Dan, you were mentioned on Ohnotheydidnt as a celeb sighting...apparently you were "intimidating".
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/34819497.html#cutid1
Posted by: Em Fee | May 04, 2009 at 04:25 PM
Because his trousers were in the wash, obviously.
Posted by: K2 | May 04, 2009 at 04:34 PM
NO.
Posted by: sasha | May 04, 2009 at 06:06 PM
I would have pooped my pants right there in the washateria. Holy crap.
I once had a guy with one eye and one...hole...ask me to watch his luggage, three black garbags bags, at Un ion Station in Chicago when I was 17 and traveling alone to a college interview. I went and hid in the ladies room until I was sure he was gone.
Posted by: Annie | May 04, 2009 at 06:36 PM
It's rude to show a man your snake before asking them out. Gezz.
Posted by: Eric | May 04, 2009 at 07:41 PM
Was the guy cute??? You should have taken his picture. I'm more curious as to what he looked like.
Posted by: Glenn D. | May 05, 2009 at 03:01 AM
I would have lost my shit! That thing is HUGE. Ugh.
Posted by: misscrankypants | May 05, 2009 at 07:54 AM
This is sad to me. People who own snakes, and treat them as "attractions", should be ashamed of themselves. Yet so many of them do.
Posted by: Veronica | May 05, 2009 at 09:30 AM
Yeah, this is sadness. Snakes don't belong in paper bags, for however brief a period.
Posted by: Yoshi | May 05, 2009 at 11:42 AM
Of course you said "no." You are in a committed relationship.
Honestly, if he was cute, I'd totally have said "yes." I think snakes are cool.
Posted by: David | May 05, 2009 at 12:10 PM
Da-an...i checked out the link someone posted. Was it TL that was next to you
crying and fanning? I know, I know...just
nosy.
Posted by: Coy | May 05, 2009 at 12:53 PM
I'm not even snakephobic and this is one of the worst pickup lines ever.
Posted by: Jennifer | May 05, 2009 at 04:02 PM
i thought it was gonna be a baby
Posted by: willam | May 05, 2009 at 06:14 PM
Although I love living in South Beach the fact that I know which laundromat you go to and which snake guy that is bothers me. This place is too small sometimes.
I've actually held that snake on Lincoln Road :)
Posted by: Kathy | May 06, 2009 at 12:40 PM
I work at a electronic retail store and this guy came in today with a snake around his neck, like a necklace or something....like really?...really?
Posted by: Jo-E | May 06, 2009 at 03:30 PM
Why does Dan even go to a laundry place? Most condos have a laundry room for owners who don't have a washer and dryer in their unit. Public laundries are freaky to begin with not to mention filthy. I once went to one that was run by this trashy lady who had four trashy kids.
Posted by: Glenn D. | May 08, 2009 at 02:23 AM
The best part was that the freak asked you out!
Now I know you got some special mojo going on, but jeezus, now you got the criminally insane after you...
Posted by: Jeff | May 08, 2009 at 09:12 AM