ARTICLES I WROTE

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ARTICLES I WROTE

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DVDs

  • REVIEW: COMING OUT PARTY
    coming out party finally hits australia. although they didn't think i am that funny. this, from the country whose biggest comedic achievement is crocodile dundee. screw them!
  • HOOKING UP...
    "hooking up in the real world," hosted by coral and myself. it ended up pretty good.
  • COMING OUT PARTY
    "coming out" stories told by comedians and writers. not a comedy show, per se, but is often funny.

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    Comments

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    Genevieve

    peanut butter & nutella is also good on an apple. which is healthy, too!

    David

    I am so totally going to see you at the WYSIWYG in December! How cool. The date isn't on the site so you need to tell us when it is.

    And love love love those condoms. Genius.

    Chris

    Heya David -- the date is on the site's "shows" page, and it will be on the front page of the site in a couple of days. It's going to be on Wednesday, December 20. I'm so psyched that Dan's coming to town to do this!

    blackbird

    Fabulous condom demo.

    If you like to eat sugar it's good that you take the acidophilus...

    Nate

    I know someone at Mercer right now...what for?

    Weston

    Explain what ended your last relationship?

    I've never had a relationship before but the one that could have been something ended because he was a bad kisser.


    When was the last time you shaved?

    Tuesday night when I saw Anderson Cooper


    What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?

    Sleeping...I went to bed at 4 AM. Didn't wake up til 11:30...I slept through my Anthropology class.

    What were you doing 15 minutes ago?

    Went to 7/11 across the street to buy a Diet Lipton Green Tea...delicious.


    Some things you are excited about?

    Tomorrow is Friday, thank god! I'm getting my hair cut and styled next Wednesday.


    What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?

    Lime/Lemon

    Your prom night, what do you remember about it?

    Sophomore year: I won the prince of prom.
    Junior year: My date and I created this dance routine on the dance floor and we had a circle around us. So much fun.
    Senior year: Went with my friend...not much fun. Ended up getting drunk on the way to After Prom and freezing my ass off in a hot tub.

    Do you have any famous ancestors?

    My great great great great uncle or something was Chester Ashley...an Arkansas State Senator in the 1800's...we have a county named after our family in Arkansas.

    Last thing received in the mail?

    My service registration stuff...if I'm ever drafted, I'm totally pulling the gay card. Fuck that shit, I'm not fighting any war.

    How many different beverages have you had today?

    Water, Tab, and Diet Lipton Green Tear

    Do you ever leave messages on people’s answering machine?

    I leave life stories on people's answering machine...I've been known to call several times after the time has run out just to finish my story.

    Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

    No, because when I go to the beach, I'm always in the gym working out hoping that there is a god and that he will give me a fucking perfect body.

    Any plans for Friday night?

    I don't have any plans yet...I hope to go out and have a good time...fixing to be done with my first semester of college and I know that once second semester hits, if you don't rush a frat, you will not have a social life. Lame...but true. So I gotta milk the free alcohol for all it's worth until it isn't around any longer.

    Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?

    Not particularly...my hair is either really oily or really dry...depends on the day. Ocean water just makes it smell funny. I have enough to worry about my hair--i don't want to make it smell funny.

    Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?

    The Bible belt lives off that shit. Yes.

    Do you re-use towels after you shower?

    To cut back on spending money for laundry, yes. But when I'm home, nope.

    Describe your keychain(s)?

    It's a caribeaner from my college...only one key on it. My high school key chain had my boarding school memorbilia attached to it. It's the only real school spirit I have.

    Where do you keep your change?

    In a cup in my room...I use that change to buy Tab at 7/11 everyday. I love me some Tab.

    When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?

    In 7th grade, I went to the elementary schools to talk to fifth graders about what middle school was like...I didn't say a word until the very end when I told them that it was really easy to steal a slice of pizza from the school store--you just have to get on Student council and say that the advisor said you could have a slice.

    Speaking of: how to steal pizza


    What kind of winter coat do you own?

    I don't currently have a winter coat because I lived in California for the past 4 years... Now I'm in Texas and I need one...so I plan to buy one over Thanksgiving break.

    Scarlett

    In what way did acidophilus change your life? Do I need some?

    Chad

    Hey Dan - I know people at Mercer too if you need anything.

    Amity

    I'm wondering how sharp the edges of that condom packaging are. (I'm assuming it's made of some kind of metal?) It seems like if you weren't careful you could slice a hole in the condom with it. (Just my initial reaction.) Still a cool concept, though.

    Beth

    I clicked for a demonstration and my 3 year old son said "Mommy, I want that". Oh man, I am in trouble.

    Jon

    OMG PEANUT BUTTER AND NUTELLA??? I thought I was the only one. Although, half of my friends have never heard of nutella. Im totally obsessed with that stuff. I re-discovered it this summer. Peanut butter and nutella is heaven.

    Hephaestion

    I lived in Macon GA a loooong time ago. Mercer is a pretty little campus, but it is a BAPTIST college. BAPTIST. Baptists... the folks who think Gay people are the cause of all Evil in the Universe. Not greed or hate or malice or lies... but gay people. So show 'em how full of shit that antigay crap is, and remind them that Baptist presidents Bill Clinton and Jimmu Carter are the two most pro-gay presidents we've ever had.

    dan

    Acidophilus is one of the gazillions of "good bacteria" in your digestive system. It's in yogurt, amongst other things that you eat. Some say it helps digestion, if you take supplements (or eat tons and tons of yogurt). I've had stomach pains for years...YEARS...I took all sorts of medicine. Nothing worked. Then I started popping acidophilus pills, and voila. All better. Was it the pills? Who knows, but I think it was. And they're cheap so why not. Dannon yogurt is now marketing their "own strain" of bifidus, as well, it's in their new fancy yogurt. Bifidus is another friendly bacteria that everyone has in their guts. But I didn't notice anything wildly better when I ate their yogurt. So screw Dannon, they can keep their fancy yogurt!

    Jess

    I wasn't too impressed by the condom thing--I mean, isn't tearing one open and putting it on in the heat of the moment (preferably with help) part of the fun?--but then I showed it to my partner, and he said, "oh, that's cool."

    Of course, we've been together 11+ years and haven't used condoms in ages, so what does he know? ;)

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