How was your day, Dan?

The Project Runway recap is coming. It will be posted later today. My little brother got kicked in the face while at cheerleading practice and it's hard to type with ice on his face.

Please tune in later. Until then, please examine the following picture and create a caption. The best caption receives a prize.

UPDATE: Here it is--the recap is done. Voila'.

Angry White Guy strikes again

My angry-white-guy, rockin-the-suburbs brother wrote another recap of Project Runway. If you haven't read the others, go here for the rest..

Read on:

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Whoa. I want to say what happened right away but I won't. It's crazy, y'know? It's like...whoa. Hang on a sec.

Okay, so Andrae got cut last week, right? And they gave the winner immunity for this challenge, for some reason, I don't know why they did that, and Daniel V won it. So this week, Daniel V is all Ha ha, I could send my model down the runway in a thong and some bullshit and I ain't going nowhere, because I gots da i-mun-i-TAY, baby! and Nick is like Gotta step it up this week since he was in the final two last time, and Santino is doing his whole I'm Sizzle the Shizzle, I'm the best! thing again. Dude, they must have wanted to kill him.

Anyway--

I Want Your Big Red Lobster!

Project Runway re-cap. Thanks to my angry-white-guy, rockin'-the-suburbs brother.

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Okay, so last episode, Zulema got kicked off after she fucked over Nick and stole his model Tarah, right? So this episode starts with Nick going,

Modelgate

Wow! I'm so busy! Thank God my angry-white-guy, rockin'-the-suburbs brother is here to help me with Project Runway posts! Read on.

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Dude, I am totally freaking out after that episode! I don't know why but it's, like...whoa. Totally cool. A lot happened.

Okay, so it starts out with that dude Santino, right? And usually when Santino talks he's all I'm the man! and shit. But this time, he was totally chill, and he was like Damn, my last outfit was busted, I can't sew ice skating costumes worth a rat's ass, it was totally stupid. But it's all good, he knows he needs to step up his game. He's all It's time to turn up the heat! Let's get the Sizzle cookin' again! And who the fuck cares about ice skating costumes? Every ice skating costume I have ever seen in my entire life has looked stupid.

So anyway--they all get together for the "pick your model" bullshit that they always do, and since that chick Zulema won last time, she gets to decide if they stay with their models or if they re-pick, blah blah

Auf Wiedersehen, Playa!

I'm so darned busy! I don't have time to write. So my angsty-white-guy, rockin'-the-suburbs brother is taking over once again.**

For last week's Project Runway recap by read here. For this week's recap, read on.

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Okay, so this episode wasn't as cool because there was no fighting and the main point was only that no one knew how to use the magical sewing machines. Big fuckin' deal. But it was still alright.

When it starts they're all sitting there waiting to find out what their next competition is going to be, and Heidi is all, I'm not telling you shit today! You'll find out tomorrow! Get out of my face! Verpiss dich drecksauen! and they're all like, Whoa that's so weird, and they all go back to their apartments. And the next day there's this knock on the door, right? And it's some dude from last season, dressed up in a post office uniform. I guess that has something to do with something they made back then?...whatever. And he's carrying packages for everyone with clues about their next mission, and he's all, I'm from last season! You wish you were as famous as me! Whoop de doo! and they're all like Wow you are so cool! Can I have your autograph? Except he goes up to that dude Emmett, and Emmett looks at him like he just smelled a big turd, and the guy is all Oh my God, don't you know who I am? and Emmett is like Uh, no, and I don't give a flying fuck who you are, I'm not into celebrity post office workers, give me my package asswipe and go be famous someplace else! Emmett is cool.

Rockin' The Suburbs

My twenty-something, angsty-white-guy, rockin-the-suburbs brother* did another post for me on Wednesday's Project Runway again. Read on.

(to read last week's, click here.)

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Okay. So Santino won last week, right? They had to design dresses for Nicky Hilton, and she liked his best. I thought Santino's dress was stupid but that doesn't matter. So this week he’s all walking around, like, Sizzle the Shizzle in da hooooouse, you better recognize! and he starts talking like, Nicky Hilton is so obsessed with me! I'm gonna get a job at Hilton Hotels! I want to be the guy who makes their hotel soaps! Boo-ya! But I think the Hiltons probably already have someone to design their soaps, and it’s not a cracked-out greasy hippie who looks like he spent last night sleeping at a construction site.

Project Runway January 4

I'm far too busy psyching myself up for the season premiere of Dancing With The Stars to focus on Project Runway right now.

So for the recap, my younger brother--a fine specimen of angry-white-kid, rock-the-suburbs manhood--will fill in for me. Best of luck, I'll see you soon.

Here it goes:

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Okay, so first there's this dude Santino, right? And he's all, like, mad and stuff because he didn't win the last competition, where they had to design lingerie, I think?... So he's all, I'm gonna win this one, I'm gonna make the best dress because they thought my lingerie was ugly. Whatever, I thought gay guys were good with stuff like that, but I guess they don't look at too many chicks in their underwear, so maybe they don't know what is hot on a girl. 'Cause they showed a picture of his underwear and it sucked ass.

Project Runway: Runwaymania

(...I had nothing to do yesterday so I wrote this.)

Hello, reader. You say you have heard about this Project Runway show but you don't understand what all the fuss is about? Then I'm so glad you're here. It's about time you got schooled in the ways of Runwaymania.

Yes, the season is already on its way, but you've only missed a few episodes of this smart and sassy show. It's not too late to join in on the fun! You can catch all the episodes in a re-run marathon tonight on Bravo. Check your local listings for showtimes.

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Glossary Of Vocabulary

Episode 1: First Day Of School ~