How was your day, Dan?

KEY WEST

I have been a busy bee, writing articles in other places.  Here is a travel posting about the dos-and-don'ts of visiting Key West.

Please feel free to add your own thoughts to the comments section (on the story itself, not here where no one will see them).

My next goal is to write about the eco-tourism options around the island. 

ISAAC

As was reported in the news last week, Florida's fine folks braced themselves (ourselves, I should say) for the wrath of Tropical Storm Isaac; hurricane shutters were pulled, outdoor furniture was relocated to the refuge of indoors, and I dismantled the various planters I've constructed in our building's front yard so I could stash the plants in our front entryway.  Among the plants were some pots of milkweed, which are vociferously eaten by the hordes of Monarch caterpillars living on them. Seriously, there are always so many caterpillars on them, I've never seen one plant sprout a single flower.

The storm passed with just some rain, so I moved everything back outside again.  Time marched on.  Then that brings us to today, much to my delight, which is the day another round of butterflies has hatched.  I spotted three outside, including this lady drying her wings:

It's all very exciting. Hello, ma'am. Best of luck to you on your travels and subsequent repopulating of your almost-endangered species.

I walked back inside, and what's this?  Apparently a caterpillar crawled off one of the plants during the hurricane interlude and made a cocoon somewhere in the entryway--which means she hatched right there.

I might have gasped and oooed and ahhed a little bit but no one was there to hear it so I wasn't embarrassed about my lapse in masculinity.  I scooped her onto my phone and tossed her out the door.  She flew away, at first a little herkily-jerkily but then she got the hang of it, sort of like the buttefly version of throwing a kid into the deep end of the pool and calling it swimming lessons.

I say "she," btw, because the orange/black ones are female.  Males are more orange.

Am I such a nerd that I am blogging about butterflies?  I guess so.  I'm pretty proud of myself for adding a few more butterflies to the world, thanks to my plants.  Next: I'm going to get some torchwood plants, so I can attract Swallowtails. Do you think Mariah Carey will come visit me and see my yard?

MCKAYLA IS NOT IMPRESSED

I was introduced to the McKayla Is Not Impressed meme, a homage to McKayla Maroney (who happens to be my favorite Olympian because of her reluctance to give insincere hugs to her competitors).  As a result, I've spent hours making my own photos.  Sadly, the person running the page has NOT accepted my photos for publication, so I'm posting them here. 

McKayla does not approve of Ryan Lochte's grill. McKayla thinks it is gross.  McKayla wants him to keep his mouth closed in general, grill or no grill, because his attempts to form sentences usually don't work well.  Instead, he should just stand there in his Speedo so she can giggle.

~

McKayla think Danell Leyva has nice abs but she prefers the youthful pert of Tom Daley. Although McKayla is pretty sure Tom Daley would be a good friend to, perhaps, take shopping.

THE HUG THAT WASN'T

The title for this photo should be Trinity's line in 'The Matrix Reloaded': "Touch me and that hand will never touch anything again."

This is McKayla Maroney getting a "congratulatory" hug from the gymnast who beat her by .01 point. Why does everyone need to HUG all the time in the Olympics? Go hug your gold medal, lady.

McKayla is officially my favorite Olympian now. I hope she goes to Rio de Jainero in 2016, and if she does you know she will light that pommel horse on fire.

SURPRISE

I had this conversation today.

Setting: the Meow Mobile, a traveling spay/neuter truck in Miami Beach.

~

Hi. I'm here to pick up my cat.

"Last name?"

Renzi.

(goes inside truck to get information, and returns with cat in carrier, and papers)

"Okay, we don't have all the information for your kitten's microchip.  What is it's name?"

Gertie. G-e-r-t-i-e.

"Great." (writes name on microchip form)  "Everything went fine. Here is the number for the microchip.  Although you marked the forms 'female,' but it's a male."

(pause)

What?

"Your kitten.  It's a male."

Are you sure?

"Well, based on the fact that we removed two testicles, yes I'm pretty sure."

That was a stupid question.

"It's okay."

How did I get that wrong?

"On a kitten, it can hard to see the fuzzy little balls.  But they're there.  Or they were."

I had no idea. When she pees, she squats down, so I thought  she was a girl.  Or I guess I should say, I thought he was a girl.

"Male cats don't lift their legs like dogs."

I guess not. (Look at cat in carrier, suddenly a complete stranger) Now what should I name him?

"Do you want another 'G' name?  Maybe Gary, or Gordon."

I'm not sure he's a Gordon.

(pause)

"Okay, well..."

Sorry, I'll stop freaking out in front of you. 

"It's alright."

Now I know how Cher felt.

"What?"

Never mind.

WINNING

This was me when I finished my chemistry final. (click)

 

Although unlike the lovely McKayla Maroney, who performed flawlessly here, I made a few mistakes BUT I DON'T CARE. 

COMPLEXION

So yeah, Olympics blah blah blah, Kohei Uchimura won the gold medal in men's gymnastics solo competition and he was stellar. Let's talk about what really matters:

Uchimura has the most amazing skin tone I have ever seen.  What's his secret? 

OLYMPICS

Although I always enjoy watching the gymnasts fall off the equipment achieve feats of super-human strength and agility, the highlight thus far has been the absolutely awesome white water rafting course constructed for the London 2012 Olympics.  I hope to get in a raft and zoom down the course some day. Can we please organize a trip to England to zoom down this thing?

~~~

I saw this guy--

--compete on the rings, and it was like Harry Potter was using magic to levitate him in the air. He was unreal, so so good. 

On the heels of my own victory in chemistry class--

(...oh, did I mention this?

BOOM!)

--where I had to prove myself amongst people half my age, I am now rooting for the grey-haired Bulgarian, Jordan Jovtchev.

~~~

Why is there no Olympics tetherball? 

OLYMPICS

NBC censored this part of the Olympics opening ceremonies--a tribute to victims of a terrorist attack in London--because, apparently, they didn't want to make people mad there wasn't also a tribute to the Israeli athletes killed at the Munich games back in 1972. Whatever the reason...NBC made a choice to censor the opening ceremonies from American audiences.

It's especially ironic considering these few minutes were probably the best part of the otherwise dismal ceremony, where the main attractions were YouTube videos played on giant screens, with people pantomiming action on the ground.  What is English slang for "crap"?

THE MUST-SEE FILMS FOR LGBT PEEPS

Two years ago, I had an idea for a story: compose a definitive list of the Top 10 "must-see" movies that gay people must see, as an introductory crash course in their history and culture.  Lots of these lists exist on various blogs--anyone who takes the time to write anything and publish it on the internet for the world to enjoy is inherently someone who gives a lot of value to his/her own opinions on things.  But rather than me put together what I thought was right, I emailed all the LGBT film festivals and asked their programmers to vote.  And I emailed Sundance, just for the hell of it.  And surprise surprise, almost everyone responded--even the Sundance fellow.  How cool is that?

Hundreds of emails and much begging later, it is now 2012 and it is finally finished--stretched from Top 10 to Top 12, but they're not in any particular order. Click here:  LGBT film

This is a great starter for people who haven't seen many independent films, or have heard of "Brokeback Mountain" and that's the extent of their knowledge. My goal is to send this to student groups at colleges, so they can plan movie nights.  Times change, and there are images of gay people everywhere now, but for some people it's still not enough to ease the stress of living a closeted life.  Watching a film, particularly one with a positive message, can be life-changing.

...and they're also good movies regardless of the social significance.  My personal favorites are "Priscilla" and "Bound."