From the "depravity of the human race" files:
My neighbor got his bicycle stolen after he locked it to a palm tree--and someone chopped the tree down to steal it.
From the looks of the single, clean cut, it appears to have been accomplished with a machete.
How horrendous. This is probably where you're getting your bike from when you buy it on Craig's List, btw.
I could launch into a tirade about living in a place like Miami, where the main industry is tourism--similar to an island in the Caribbean, where the majority of the population live near "third world" status--and therefore poverty is a way of life, so people run amok with machetes just to make a few dollars. But I'll save the economics lesson for another time, when I am not entirely disgusted.