Take a drink...
...every time someone is announced before entering a room.
...any time someone pours tea.
...any time Carson decants wine through cheesecloth.
...any time cuff links are discussed. (Mr. Bates calls them just "links," and this counts.)
...any time someone applies hand cream.
...every time someone opens an envelope or telegram. Bonus: If accomplished with a letter opener, take two drinks; if the message is bad news, take a big gulp.
...any time Mary is wearing temptuous red.
...any time the Dowager Countess is wearing a shade of purple, "violet" or otherwise.
...any time you spot a feather worn in hair or on clothing.
...any time someone kisses someone s/he shouldn't. Bonus: If it's man-on-man action, take two drinks and toast your neighbors.
...every time someone says "Lady Mary."
...every time someone says "poor Edith."
...every time Edith says the word "slut."
...every time Anna the maid tells "Mr. Baahtes" she loves him.
...every time Mr. Bates tells Anna loving him is a terrible idea. If he says so while moving out, take two drinks. You'll need it for the heartbreak that ensues.
...any time Mary drops her hands to her sides and slaps her thighs because she is just EXASPERATED.
...every time a woman dabs her face with a handkerchief while crying.
Bonus: If Mary drops her hands to her sides and slaps her thighs as she is crying and holding a handkerchief, all the while dressed in red and wearing feathers, finish your drink. Her temper tantrums usually take a while, you have time.
...every time Mrs. Padmore insults Daisy.
...any time you are irrepressibly consumed by the realization that Daisy is just too cute.
...every time anyone says the word "valet," which rhymes with "mallet," thank you.
...any time Miss O'Brien lurks in a doorway, near a window, or next to an open vent and eavesdrops.
...any time a member of the Crawley family engages in friendly conversation with a servant and casually belittles that servant by insinuating his/her life is without meaning.
...every time Thomas and Miss O'Brien stand outside by the shed and smoke cigarettes whilst planning something devious!
...any time anyone says the name "Mr. Pamuk."
...any time Molesley's hopes and dreams are somehow shattered and he makes a sad face.
...any time anyone engages in battle with the new telephone.
...any time Violet insults servants, lawyers, doctors, Turks, Italians, Americans, educated women, employed women, loose women, the middle class, the upper class who don't really deserve it, family members who have bad taste in gifts, or most deservedly that pain in the ass Isobel.
* Many people contributed to this list, including Countess Tricia Roche McKinney.