1) Wake up sniffling, sneezing, coughing, wheezing.
2) Stumble to bathroom and look in mirror. Gasp in horror at own reflection.
3) Call in sick to work--not because of the coughing etc., but because the puffy face is too awful to share.
4) Turn on TV and flip through channels; pass music video for "Red Solo Cup" by Toby Keith, just as he sings the lyrics "A red solo cup is cheap and disposable/And in 14 years they are decomposable" and think Well that's just not true, is it? Plastic takes hundreds of years to break down, and they don't actually biodegrade because the molecules don't enter into the carbon life cycle, they just exist as plastic forever and then trail off while becoming hypnotized by all the shots of Toby Kieth's armpit sweatstains, and couldn't they have given him antiperspirant or a new shirt or something?
5) Turn of TV, filled with scorn and judgement.
6) Wander around kitchen singing the chorus "Red Solo cup, I fill you up / Let’s have a party, let’s have a party..." and realize, because it was the last song heard, it is now stuck in my head.
7) Turn on TV again and try in vain to listen to another song, but the damage is done.
8) Spend rest of day in bed, evacuating organic substances from nasal passages while singing "Red Solo Cup" over and over. And feeling really sorry for self, that happened throughout the day as well.
That song is the actual devil. it has ruined many a day for me.
Posted by: Anne | January 13, 2012 at 09:47 AM
Worst. Song. Ever.
Posted by: ericaberry | January 13, 2012 at 11:19 AM
LOL, that is song is like a virus. Hearing it once and your brain is infected with the lyrics for the rest of the day. :)
Posted by: Marsha | January 14, 2012 at 07:07 AM