I'd like to apologize for not liking your music.
Actually, this apology is to American society in general. I feel like there is a collective push to solidify an interest in you as a mainstay of pop music. And I do appreciate your talent from an objective perspective. In an era where computers can turn anyone with a Macintosh into a music producer, you have the courage to stand on a stage and play actual instruments, perform songs you have written yourselves, and sing the vocals without the aid of Auto-Tune. You're a real band, that's great. I liked that song you recorded for "Eat Pray Love." It was really good. But I can't keep holding on to that one song.
I'm so sorry I don't like your music. I wish I did. I wish I could enjoy your folksy tunes mixed with tribal beats and visceral vocals. But honestly, it sounds like you are screaming at me. When I listen to your music, I get stressed out and start to panic as if something bad is going to happen. Your singing sounds like an alarm going off. It makes me nervous.
Your presence in the pop culture landscape puts a lot of pressure on me, FATM. It seems like you are a band I am supposed to like. I feel like if I don't rally behind you and marvel at the magnificence of your music, people will think of me as a heathen who has no appreciation for art nor any measurable intellect. My contemporaries will look down on me lump me in with the proletariat as proof there is no hope for the future. Fie, you fool, begone and listen to Nikki Minaj.
Even though I don't like your music, I promise I will still vote for Obama.
Best of luck to you.