I want to go to New York. I would love to spend the weekend in Manhattan, dragging my spouse around the city seeing shows and eating cupcakes. Would this be my "honeymoon"? Perhaps. I can go there and get married now. Or it could just be a fun trip, because we both want to be there together.
Having equal rights can be defined in only one way: obtaining equal rights as a whole. They can't be selected, which rights are important/interesting vs. which rights are okay to let slip by. Either a person has equal rights, or not. You can't pick-and-choose elements of equality.
But being gay in the early 21st Century is an exercise in fighting for rights we many not, as individuals, particularly care about. Gays in the military? Yes I support it! Except...I was always banking on using that as my excuse out if there was another draft, so personally, I was fine with the ban. Hypocritical, yes, but self-preserving as well.
Now, there's marriage. The only time I think about marriage is when my mother asks me if I'm going to get married any time soon. As of now, that answer is "no." I'm not necessarily excited to "legalize" my relationship (please note: I don't have one, this is theoretical). I've lived in my apartment for 5 years without a lease, month-to-month, and it's been just fine. I'd like to think my spouse would stay with me because he wanted to be there.
Don't get me wrong; I want a wedding. I want a commitment ceremony, I want to celebrate an anniversary, I believe in the fairy tale of having a house with a yard and nosy neighbors. But I can get that started anywhere, on my own.
I have my wedding already planned. Everyone will be allowed to wear whatever they want; anyone who wants to be in the wedding party can join in. Seventeen bridesmaids? Fine. The kids want to wear Cinderella dresses and fireman costumes? Awesome. Everyone will enter from the front, so they can walk down the aisle and then walk back up again, to let everyone in the seats get a good look. Just a big party. And hopefully this wedding will involve me marrying Mike Rowe. Some of these details are negotiable, based on plausability.
State-level marriage is a step in the right direction; there are some rights that gay couples can now obtain. This legal victory is quite an amazing story, accomplished thanks to rich Republicans with gay family members (and a noticeable absence of big gay groups like HRC or NGLTF). But until marriage is legal on the federal level--meaning we could file joint federal tax returns (being legalized just in a state, gay people still can't) or have foreign-born spouses marry and get U.S. citizenship (again, still can't do that), as well as move state-to-state with the same benefits without any legal drama...state-level marriage is just mildly exciting.
So...equal rights mean equal rights. Marriage in New York doesn't mean equal everything. But it's progress, and progress is great. Either way, perhaps I'll go to New York and have one hell of a wedding.