1) Perplexd or confused especially by
a complexity, variety, or multitude of objects or considerations
2) The look on Latinos' faces in the Miami area, the night before Thanksgiving, as they walk through grocery stores trying to buy items necessary for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner
Last night I zipped over to the store to buy
a loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter, as the stores would be closed on Thanksgiving Day. Also on my list: Ambrosia apples, my favorite, and an onion. The onions are located next to the potatoes; as I paused to make my selection, I stood next to a group of ladies chattering away en Español while holding various choices of the starchy roots.
One noticed me standing there--as if to say, Look, an American--and she paused. Her co-shoppers noticed her gaze, and looked over at me as well. They all raised their eyebrows in a pleasantly-questioning manner, as they waited to see if I would notice their struggle with the confounding potatoes.
"Are you making mashed potatoes?" I asked. They smiled and nodded, "Yes," and one extended her hand while clutching a bag of fingerling potatoes. "Is good, yes?"
"Those won't work," I said, and explained how mashed potatoes need drier, fluffier potatoes, such as Idaho. If you mash those fingerlings, they will come out like glue. And peeling those little things will be such a chore. Either all Idaho, or mix them with another variety like red potatoes, plus milk or cream. They smiled and grabbed a bag of big Idahos, and offered their Thanksgiving thanks.
A slight skip in my step, I rounded the corner and proceeded down the canned food aisle, to stock up on beans for another day. A man and a woman, presumably spouses, held cans of green beans and Cream of Mushroom soup. Our eyes casually met, and I smiled. "Making green bean casserole?" They smiled back and said yes. "That's my favorite," I said.
"Really? It is good?" asked the husband. And his tone was less inquiring than it was, shall we say, disbelieving. So I nodded emphatically. "It really is delicious, I promise. You need to get the onions for the top, they're the best part." And I explained they didn't need an actual fresh onion, but instead to find the container of French's fried onions. They had never heard of such a thing as pre-fried onions sold in a round tin. But they exist, oh yes, and the world is a better place because of them. I recommended the cheese flavor, they add a little kick.
I proceeded through the store, walking especially tall in my shoes. proudly displaying my pale skin and light hair which illuminated my knowledge of all things Americana. As I approached the dairy section, I passed the meats, where a big black guy was engaged with a Latino couple detailing the finer points of brining a turkey. My fellow countryman, I thought. Keep up the good work.
Bread, bread, where is the bread?...in the bread aisle I pondered the choices before me, and an older Latino couple conversed in their native language while holding two bags of English muffins--one sourdough, one original. They turned to me, and the husband said, "Excuse me, we need your assistance. Which is better?" And he presented the bags.
English muffins have nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but by this time I was on a roll. "They are basically the same," I said. "Sourdough is just a flavor of dough, but it's not that much different." They smiled, and the wife held up a bag of multi-grain muffins. "Are these better?" she asked.
I shook my head, and explained "multi-grain" is often just a marketing ploy, they are really just white bread with a tiny bit of different (hence "multi") grains, all dyed brown to look healthy. And life is short! Just get the kind that taste good. They looked at each other in shock. Conspiracies! She put the multi-grain muffins back.
The husband took a bag of the muffins off the shelf. "Please, this is for you," he said. "For your troubles, thank you." How nice. Although I didn't want to mention that they weren't actually a gift, as I would still have to pay for them when I checked out. It was a lovely gesture nonetheless. So I said I already had some, and declined.
I think that next year I'm going to offer my services as a goodwill ambassador, and station myself at the store. Miami needs me.
