I am eating carrots and hummus.
"Carrots and hummus, at 11:30 at night. Sounds delicious."
It is delicious.
"You're going to have nightmares."
I know. But I forgot to eat dinner.
"I wish I could 'forget' to eat a meal."
I'm watching what I eat now, and I've lost 20 pounds, but I don't think I ate enough food today. So this is my dinner.
"Well if you're eating now, are you going out?"
I dunno. I went to see "Sex And The City" last night at the midnight screening, so I didn't get to bed until 4 in the morning. I'm tired.
"Oh. Did you go with _____?"
"How is she?"
She's good. The same.
"I think you need to find a new boyfriend."
"You shoud go out on a date. You need some excitement in your life."
What are you talking about?
"You're home all the time. Every time I call you, you're home."
That's because you call me at 11:30 at night, when it's 10:30 your time and you're going to bed.
"Yeah, well... You've been single long enough, I think you need to find a nice guy and go do something fun."
Well if you find a nice guy for me, let me know. I've been on the lookout for many years, I haven't had much luck.
"If you moved back to Kansas City I'm sure you could—"
"—just the other day, I met the nicest man who would be great for you—"
"—okay, okay, never mind."
Why do you think I need excitement? I have plenty of excitement.
"I know you do, but you're always going out with your friends. Why aren't you dating anybody again?"
The next time I go out, I will keep my eyes open.
"Good. Just make sure he's rich. Then I can retire and you can buy me a house in Florida with a lanai."