Year civilization comes to an end: 2012.
Length in minutes of the movie: 158. (With previews, that's over three hours long!)
Number of times I looked at my phone to check the time throughout the drudgery of this movie: 5.
Number of times I whispered "This is boring" to T.L.: 2.
Number of times I laughed out loud inappropriately when a person suffered a terrible death, prompting disgusted looks from my fellow movie patrons: 1. (The Russian falling off the dock.)
Number of times Woody Harrelson eats, holds, or discusses pickles: 2.
Number of times Huggies Pull-Ups are worked into the story as product placement: 3.
Number of times the Huggies Pull-Ups product placements have nothing to do with the story: 3.
Number of times the story randomly focuses on a (totally cute!) Japanese Chin that miraculously escapes death as humans died en masse: 3.
Number of times someone says "Talk to me!" to a fellow castmember during an action sequence: 1, and it was nauseating.
Number of times I whispered "That could never happen!" before I realized analyzing the plot of "2012" was a foolish waste of time: 2.
Number of times the fate of humanity is in John Cusack's hands: 1.
Number of people who walked out of the theater in the middle of the movie: 6.
Reasons to see this movie: 0. Correction: 1, to see the cute Japanese Chin.