I need your help. I want to get out of the Midwest, and what better way to start than to get advice from someone who's done it, and you are the only person I "know".I am 32, I have lived here for about 12 years and up until now I have been mostly happy living here. Growing up my family moved all over; this is the longest I have ever lived in one place.
I recently ended a 9 year long relationship, moved into a crappy one bedroom and spent 3 1/2 months wallowing in self pity. Then a friend of mine who lives in D.C. convinced me to come for a visit. It was just what I needed. I feel like a completely new person. I really want to move to D.C. when my lease is up in July. I have never moved away from my family or across the country on my own before and I was wondering what kind of advice you might have. Do I only go once I have a job, do I go and spend my savings til I get a job?...
My family does live here and they are not supportive of this and have made it very clear that if this is what I am going to do, I will do it alone. Fine. I think I can do it alone. My friends are wonderful and they will help but I honestly do not even know where to begin.
I feel like I can't take one more minute, but I will do the responsible thing and wait out my lease. In the mean time my eyes and ears are open.
When I moved to Miami four years ago, I took only what would fit in my car. That included clothes, shoes, and my expensive kitchen gadgets; I shipped a few boxes of baby photos and birth certificates, etc. to my mother. Everything else was sold. I had a reasonable chunk of money in my bank account and zero plans for what to do. So when I arrived, I hooked up with guys for a place to stay until I found an apartment slept in cheap hotels by the airport and limped along for a few months. Luckily I had work as a freelance writer, so I had money coming in.
Being homeless, ironically, can be very expensive. On days I didn't pay for a hotel, I showered at the showers on the beach, I changed clothes in my car. I walked through the big hotels and looked for banquets that had just finished, and snuck in to eat the food. Seriously it was so much fun. I wasn't really "homeless," of course. When I got tired of being a bum I found a furnished apartment to rent temporarily, and then the rest worked itself out.
But you probably don't have my sense of adventure. So a few pointers for you:
1) Yes, wait out your lease. Breaking your lease can show up on your credit rating, and that will torment you for seven years.
2) You didn't tell me what work you do professionally, so I don't know how you'd be able to find a job. But generally applicants from out-of-town are only considered when it is an executive position; yes, you need to go there first. Save enough money to plop down in the city and live off your bank account for a while. Plan on three months; you want to have enough money to allow yourself to fall on your face a few times with bad jobs, etc., and not go hungry or be homeless. Even with the most frugal budget, that is a few thousand dollars at least.
Please understand, having money will allow you to not rush into doing something stupid because you're desperate. It sounds like you're desperate now, so this is good practice for you to chill and make plans for your life.
3) More importantly: you are 32, and you're still living under your family's thumb? Maybe you really do need to move away for a while. What kind of parents would give their (adult) daughter such a nasty ultimatum?
4) If you move to D.C. and you decide it's not for you, there is no failure in you moving back "home." It's just geography.
5) Can you stay with your friend for a month? Offer him/her some money for rent; s/he will probably turn it down. So instead, fill the refrigerator with food and pay the electric bill. And don't stay the whole month.
6) Find a job waiting tables. You will meet the most people that way. That's how you find a job, not through sending resumes.