CONVERSATION WITH MOM

My niece, P, is in third grade.

~

(ring)

Hello?

"Hi Uncle Dan."

Hi P. 

(voice of my mother in background: "Tell him where you are!")

"Uncle Dan, I'm at Grandma's house."

Yes, I see that from the caller ID.

(Mom: "Tell him what you're doing!")

What are you up to?

("Tell him you're baking cookies!")

"Grandma and I are baking cookies."

That sounds fun.

("Tell him what today was!")

"Um..." (confused pause)

So, P, what did you do today?

"Today was our first day of school."

I see.

("Tell him what else you did today!")

"Um..."

Do you know what Grandma wants you to tell me?

"No."

Are you confused with both me and Grandma talking at once?

("Tell him about your soccer game!")

"Well...a little."

("Tell him how you scored a goal!")

(pause)

Do you like school?

"It's okay."

("Tell him what else happened today!")

Do you like your teacher?

("Tell him you went for pizza!")

"She's alright.  But she's very strict."

Well, then don't make her mad.

"I won't."

("Tell him your sister got her new Hannah Montana scarf!")

What else is new?

("Okay, it's time to take out the cookies!")

"Um...I have to go."

Yes, I hear that.  Okay, I will talk to you later.  Can you put Grandma on the phone?

"Okay.  Bye."

(pause)

"Hi Danny!"

Mom, what are you doing?

"We're baking cookies, didn't P tell you?"

But I can barely get a sentence out of her with you telling her what to say!

"Well excuse me for wanting you to have a conversation with your own niece."

Comments

[Double J]

Nieces are the best! I have three I spoil rotten and make them tell me I am their favorite uncle.

[Katie]

I LOVE IT!!! How funny! Does mom ever read your recaps?

[blackbird]

Fortunately, I'd bet money that P knows the drill...and adores you.

[Jason]

thats what I am talking about. Thanks Dan! It is so funny.

[Jason]

Here is a segment of what I deal with.

Stopped for gas with MOM, got a diet coke, she got coffee. Since we were coming back from the coast, I wanted to wash my car in the automatic drive thru car wash. I drive in, cycle starts, Mom opens car door mid wash to empty coffee a little for ice cause its to hot. We get pounded with water. I scream close the door, and she states, "Why did you let me do that."

Yes, i love it.

[Glenn D.]

Aren't mothers nice. I'm so glad I don't talk to my mother! :)

[Brian Baker]

Oh, when I was little I used to get really annoyed when my dad would dial his parents then put me on the phone and feed me lines to say to my grandparents! One day I got fed up with it and rolled my eyes at him...big mistake...he got pissed and told me I had better be glad I had a grandfather I could call.... Not to mention the time he asked me to call my aunt from my grandparents' house to invite her over for dinner...because he thought the invitation would sound more meaningful if it came from me as a six year old...but I dialed the wrong number and didn't realize until ten minutes into the conversation I had invited a total stranger to my grandparents' house for dinner!

[desertwind]

Were you wire-tapping my phone on Monday, Dan?

Replace soccer with horse-back riding & cookies with muffins & add a grade & a barking dog & .... there ya go!

[hephaestion]

Has your mom been tested for ADD???