...BECAUSE IF I DON'T PICK UP...
...she'll just call again. So it's best to get it over with.
---
(ring ring ring)
Hello?
"Hi Danny!"
Hi Mom.
"How are ya?"
Good. But I can't talk right now, can I call you back?
"What are ya doin?"
I'm having dinner with a friend.
"Oh. What are you having?"
We haven't ordered yet. But it's Italian. Can I call you back later?
"Who's your friend?"
My friend Dan.
"Oh, he has a good name."
Yeah. I'll call you b---
"Who is Dan?"
He's just my friend.
"Is he your special friend?"
Well, he's very special. But he's not special like how you mean.
"Oh. I thought maybe you were on a date."
It's a friend-date.
"Do you wish you were a real date with him?"
Well no, but since he's sitting right here watching me talk on the phone to you, I wouldn't really be able to talk about that right now anyway.
"Gotcha."
Can I call you back?
"What are you going to have?"
Something by myself if I don't get off this phone, because my special friend-date is going to get annoyed and leave me here.
"Okay, then call me back when you're done."
Okay, I'll call you l--
"Are you going out after your friend-dinner-date?"
I'm not sure.
"Maybe you should go out so you can find yourself a rich husband."
I'll keep that in mind.
"And you can find me one too."
Okay, just get rid of Dad first.
"He won't care. Is the restaurant nice?"
I'm hanging up now.
"Well if you don't want to talk to your mother--"
Goodbye.
"Goodbye I love you!" (click)
I xoxo your mom.
Posted by:dk | May 15, 2008 at 09:54 PM
I love your mom as well. Did you know its her job to annoy you and entertain us?
Posted by:jimk | May 15, 2008 at 10:09 PM
How did we have the same mom and never meet?
Posted by:Addison | May 16, 2008 at 12:08 AM
Did you call her back? (I'm a mom.)
Posted by:blackbird | May 16, 2008 at 05:20 AM
Love your Mom!
Posted by:Wicked | May 16, 2008 at 05:35 AM
awww
Moms always have a hard timer hanging up! Mine says bye a gazillion times and remember something else to say after each one! That's kinda cute when it's out mothers. =)
Posted by:Leo | May 16, 2008 at 05:44 AM
actually... ouR mothers.
Posted by:Leo | May 16, 2008 at 05:45 AM
Ah yes, my conversations with my mom go the same way at the most inopportune moments...
Posted by:johnO | May 16, 2008 at 07:00 AM
I love your mom conversations!
I wish I could have those with my mom, but unfortunately they are just normal people calls.
Posted by:Jen | May 16, 2008 at 07:31 AM
So, apparently you're my brother, as that was my mother on the phone with you. Seriously, it takes about 10 minutes to get off the phone. Too funny!
Posted by:Amy | May 16, 2008 at 07:43 AM
My mother does the exact same thing! The guilting part is a touch worse but she always manages to make it seem as though she's being horribly mistreated.
Posted by:T | May 16, 2008 at 09:49 AM
So there are a couple us that are related...cousins maybe because my convos with Mom go somewhat like that only after I tell her I'm at dinner with a friend she says,"tell them it's your mother, they'll understand." :/
Posted by:coy | May 16, 2008 at 10:36 AM
yeah, I've had that convo too.
Dan-
Not sure if you remember me, but we both worked at George Street Playhouse the Spring of 1995. You filled in for me on that dreadful "off key" musical. (It's ok if you don't. I was also in a cult movie, if that jogs your memory.)
Anyway, wanted to drop you a line and say hello.
--Melissa
Posted by:melissa joy | May 16, 2008 at 06:37 PM
Seriously, so true. I enjoy the constant game of 20 questions whenever I make the mistake of mentioning someone elses name.
Posted by:Jason | May 18, 2008 at 11:14 PM
That is a conversation with my grandmother, to the "T". Wonder if they're related?
Posted by:Jenn | May 20, 2008 at 01:41 PM