TIMES CHANGE

"Hi!"

Hi.

"Wanna dance?"

(pause)

What?

"Do you want to dance?"

No thanks.

"Why not?"

I'm too shy.

"No you're not."

Actually, you're right, I just don't like to dance unless I'm drunk.

"Why not?"

I'm too tall, I feel like I stick out, I get self-conscious.

"I like tall guys."

Do you?

"Yeah."

(pause)

How old are you?

"Twenty-six."

How old are you on your real ID?

(pause)

"Nineteen."

I don't believe you.

"I am, I swear."

Let me see your i.d., I want proof that you are over 18 years old.

(pulls out wallet, removes i.d. cards) "That's my fake..."

No shit.

"Shut up! It's really good. And that one is my real one."

(look at them in the light of a candle on the cocktail table) Okay.

"What's wrong with being 19?"

Nothing, except for the fact that you are in here under-age.

"So?"

So...what?

"You tell me."

(pause) I'm not telling you anything, I'm just standing here.

"How old are you?"

Forty-seven.

"Really?!?"

Yes. Don't I look great?

"You're not 47."

I am.

"How old are you really?"

Do you want my real age, or what it says on my crappy fake ID?

"Shut up."

I'm 33.

"Okay."

You still like tall guys?

"Yes. And big."

Are you calling me fat?

"No!"

I'm old and fat. Thanks.

"You're not! I just...never mind."

Mmm-hmmm.

(pause)

"Where do you live?"

Around the corner, by Lincoln Road.

"Do you live by yourself?"

Just me and my cat.

"Cool...are you going out after this?"

It's already 1 in the morning, I'm going home after this.

"You're just going home?"

Yeah.

"Well we're all going back to my dorm, you can come with..."

Yuo live in a dorm?

"Yeah, we're going to order pizza."

Oh my God, you live in a dorm.

"So?"

Nothing.

"Do you want to come?"

No, I'm not driving all the way to your dorm when my apartment is around the corner.

"Come on."

Thank you, the pizza sounds great, but no.

"Well...could I get your number?"

(pause)

You are going to call me?

"Sure."

You better be careful what you're getting yourself into.

"What do you mean?"

I'm a lot of man to handle.

"I know."

Okay, I didn't mean in the "I'm fat" way that you seem to like.

"That's not what I meant."

I don't remember being this ballsy when I was 19.

"I'm 26."

Ah yes.

Comments

[kevin]

But was he cute?

[chris]

"Well we're all going back to my dorm, you can come with..."

You had me at hello.

[Janie Bo Banie]

Ummm... why does this sound like the Florida version of AG guy?

[Sam]

Not gonna lie, this 19 year-old wouldn't have had the balls to do that, but I certainly would have thought about trying!

[bostonteeth]

Well that tickled me pink...lol... But very smart to ask after all it is the responsible thing to do. Kudos.

[john.]

you could have ordered pizza around the corner, you know.....

A funny thing happened to me when I turned 33 - I lamented to my best friend that "oh woe is me...I'm 33..now I'm in 'gay middle age'. pretty soon, nineteen-year-olds will think i'm hot because I'm an 'older guy'!" And then we proceeded to get drunk.

Three weeks later i was dating a19 year old (well, dating is a bit of a stretch...). but it was fun, in a 'I can't really have meaningful conversations but you have the sexual stamina of a billy goat" kind of way.

Now I'm 43 and no one's interested.

sigh.

[Michael]

john's comment slapped a big ole smile on my face.

when i hit 30 i thought it was downhill.

in reality - my 30's have been interesting. 19 year olds want you because "you're older" and 45 year olds want you because "you're younger". too bad every single guy in their 30's is thinking the same thing ... not many of them are in "dating" or LTR mode. ;)

[willam]

you got mad bitches on your jock. i met my man when I was 19 5 years ago and i had his dick out @ Micky's counter within 20 seconds. Just this week, i caught my man texting a 19 yr old last week. 19 yr olds are addictive. watch out.

[Jen]

See, you still got it! Never doubt that!

[Leo]

You gotta admit he was pretty cute... in a funny way

[Hephaestion]

19 year olds view the entire world thru a different prism from any actual adult finished with college and living on his/her own.

They will misinterpret pretty much everything you say to them because of this.

[David]

Can one be both appalled and jealous at the same time? Shameless youth.

[erik]

oh 19 year olds. you're too old for him.

and i mean that in the best way possible. because i think you're perfect the way you are.

[adrian]

I think that made my day. Sounds like the perfect dialogue in a indi film which watch and re-watch as one of your favourites dvds for when feeling low. think Im going to read the conversation again. have tears in my eyes from laughing...

[s]

dan - he has no idea you were on the real world.

but he probably watches the real world.

that's too young.

[Joan]

When I was 33, I had had it with the dating ritual. I think that is why I got married when I did; not true love so much as a break in the routine.

Sheesh, I just depressed myself.

[Bridget]

Joan--you've just turned this into Postsecret.

I hope you're happy...

[Coy]

yes, kids ( and I do mean kids) are bold these days. Especially, in the 16 to 24 range. I'm almost 40 and it amazes me how the times and the tables have turned. When I was 19, every dude over 35 was breathing on me....I turn 35 and dudes under the age of 18 are breathing on me. I've touched none as I prefer older men and there are legal issues involved but it gives me a tickle anyway.

Dan did you give him your number?

[Glenn C]

Dan, what wrong with dating guys closer to your age? I know a nice cute 38 year old who posts to reality TV star blogs. I'd stay away from the guys under 26. There's too much of an age difference.