Why didn't any of you feel it necessary to tell me about this?
I am nominated for an award, and I had no idea. Apparently the voting has been going on for weeks. It's a big big deal, as you can see, very important award. Lots of people coveting this award, lots of coveting going on. Although it should be noted that not a single person has (a) emailed (b) left a comment (c) even off-handedly mentioned the contest was going on, so I don't know what that says about the level of public interest. No matter! Like it is said amongst members of The Academy, it is an honor just being nominated.
Granted, I should have paid more attention when someone from the production office called me a few weeks ago, left a message saying something about an awards show in LA in the middle of March, and even said they'd ever-so-generously buy me a plane ticket to attend. And of course they had plans to film it and broadcast the affair on MTV and make millions of dollars off the thing. But there was no word of any, ahem, payment involved for the people involved. Instead, they call it an "awards show" so they can get out of paying anyone. Um, press 7 to delete this message. *beep!*
But I had no idea I was NOMINATED. That changes everything. Who wouldn't jump at the chance to fly across the country to receive an award for doing absolutely nothing significant? I'll take the next flight out please. I can write my acceptance speech on the plane.
What would one say when receiving this award? "I'd like to thank myself, as if it weren't for my own propensity for self-absorbed melodrama, I wouldn't have stood in front of a TV camera and screamed at someone in the hopes of making the final edit of an episode. In fact, I wouldn't decided to go on a reality-TV program in the first place. I love myself! Yea for me!"
I love how it's just me that's nominated, too. Although in fairness, Melissa deserves half the credit. It wouldn't have been possible without Melissa.