DEAR BLOGOSPHERE,

Why didn't any of you feel it necessary to tell me about this?

I am nominated for an award, and I had no idea. Apparently the voting has been going on for weeks. It's a big big deal, as you can see, very important award. Lots of people coveting this award, lots of coveting going on. Although it should be noted that not a single person has (a) emailed (b) left a comment (c) even off-handedly mentioned the contest was going on, so I don't know what that says about the level of public interest. No matter! Like it is said amongst members of The Academy, it is an honor just being nominated.

Granted, I should have paid more attention when someone from the production office called me a few weeks ago, left a message saying something about an awards show in LA in the middle of March, and even said they'd ever-so-generously buy me a plane ticket to attend. And of course they had plans to film it and broadcast the affair on MTV and make millions of dollars off the thing. But there was no word of any, ahem, payment involved for the people involved. Instead, they call it an "awards show" so they can get out of paying anyone. Um, press 7 to delete this message. *beep!*

But I had no idea I was NOMINATED. That changes everything. Who wouldn't jump at the chance to fly across the country to receive an award for doing absolutely nothing significant? I'll take the next flight out please. I can write my acceptance speech on the plane.

What would one say when receiving this award? "I'd like to thank myself, as if it weren't for my own propensity for self-absorbed melodrama, I wouldn't have stood in front of a TV camera and screamed at someone in the hopes of making the final edit of an episode. In fact, I wouldn't decided to go on a reality-TV program in the first place. I love myself! Yea for me!"

I love how it's just me that's nominated, too. Although in fairness, Melissa deserves half the credit. It wouldn't have been possible without Melissa.

Comments

[David]

I didn't mention anything because, to be honest, I had no idea such a thing existed.

But golly, what an honor. Good luck.

[johnO]

Actually, I think I remember someone commenting that they voted for you a couple weeks ago? Is it possible? I didn't know what they were talking about at the time but this post made me remember that. So sorry to negate your entire comment, I don't mean to in mean spirits, and I didn't know either.

[Scott]

Unfortunately, I think you know exactly what it says about the level of public interest. Oh well, whatever--if you make it out here next month, enjoy!

[Laura]

Best seen Ever!! "Did you take it you stupid bitch?"
And yes I voted for you several times ;)

[mary]

Good luck, I voted for you. I have to wonder what it must feel like to have these moments come back to haunt you periodically over the years... sorta like high school but without cameras.

[meg]

actually....someone did mention the awards and then I commented that you were nominated for one after I checked it out...

[blackbird]

Could you pull your ear or something during your speech, so I know you are thinking of me?

[Kat]

Okay, this is toooo weird. My two daughters love you ( 21 & 19) and they just reinacted that scene and another one from one of the challenges where you said your best quote ever, "The mountains are crumbling, the sky is tumbling down, the world has come to an end…Ellen’s life has been threatened.”
Hahaha Good Stuff!

[Marc Acito]

Vote early, vote often. Good luck.

[Erica]

I just voted 10 times for you, in penance. I also promise to vote for you again tomorrow.... I just keep clicking while catching up on American Idol or the View.

(Although, it DOES depress me. Yours was the only season on there that I watched. I now officially feel old.)

[Kryss]

Don't forget to thank the teenyboppers and the teenagers all over America whose parents let them stay up past 9 on a school night; without them, your award wouldn't have been possible.

Also, check out the speech given in the movie Clueless by Travis when discovered he has the most tardy's in his class. Well worth quoting :)

[Jane]

That "meltdown" made me fall in love with you. I voted and will get voting for you.

[Mark]

Oh, how frustrating I can't actually see the clip. The little screen just goes black. Can you send me hi-lights on a DVD? I'll vote anyway, I'm sure it was fab!
XM

[rudy]

Ah, Real World Miami...back when the show was worth watching.
I'm a Dan fan, but on pure histrionics, I think Brooke might be tough to beat.

[kristin]

Love you, love your hair. Unfortunately, this is the best blurb on that page:

"Brooke doesn't take it so well when Davis tells her she's not the prettiest girl he's ever seen."

Bwahaha!

[Bapril]

I just totally voted for you, like, 5 times.

[Corey]

Someone commented a couple weeks ago and I immediately went and voted for you :) A friend of mine is interning there and he got to do all the fun work of clipping all the "moments."

[Mike]

The problem here is that Brooke is batshit crazy. There's no possible way to compete with that. You seem totally rational by comparison.

This, of course, is a good thing.

[Mike]

OMG, I just watched the second Brooke clip, which I hadn't seen before. Batshit crazy doesn't even begin to cover it. She belongs in an institution.

[Daveia]

I did tell you!

http://danrenzi.typepad.com/stuff/2008/02/cat-vets-in-mia.html#comment-102071072

And obviously voted for you, but that should go without saying. :D

[jjd]

i will vote for you only if you tell me what were the two things in the envelope. I'm guessing some travelling KY and a condom.

[jason]

If you DO fly out here, email me. It'd be great to see you again, and out guestroom is always open.
:-)

[Jon]

I'm sorry, but Brooke going crazy in Brook #1 is THE classic Real World moment of forever.

Wasnt it about driving stick shift or something?

Nothing beats that.

[me]

"Brooke going crazy in Brook #1 is THE classic Real World moment of forever."

she is totally nuts from the clips I've seen but can any of us honestly say we've watched an entire recent season?
I long for the RW San Francisco and Miami days!

[misscrankypants]

Brooke is bat-shit crazy...but she is SCARY. You are BRILLIANT.

xoxoxo

When you accept your award give a shout out to all the blog readers who stack the deck for you! We love Dan!