The time: mid-afternoon.
The place: crossing the street by my apartment. I was munching on a delicious sandwich.
The scenario: I am approached by a guy I went out with on two dates; he was nice, but then he abruptly disappeared, never returned my calls, nothing. I didn't give it a second thought.
Me: (pause to recognize him, and then...) Hi! Long time no see.
"Do you remember me?"
Of course. How are you?
"I'm fine. How have you been?"
Great. Where have you been?
"It's a long story."
"It was a lot of drama."
You don't have to tell me.
"I was in jail."
What did you do?
"Possession of drugs."
Well, this is Miami.
"I know, it's bullshit. All the other cops who caught me with drugs never did anything."
Well that's just so unfair.
What were you caught with?
"Marijuana, and pills that weren't mine."
Oh. How long were you in?
"Forty-five days. But they have this new thing called 'gay jail,' that's separate from the rest of the inmates. It's not bad, I just watched TV."
I've heard of gay jail, my friend went there. I don't know why everyone doesn't just lie and say they're gay to get the nice jail.
"Actually they didn't believe me when I told them at first, they said I was lying just to get the gay jail."
But you're, like, so gay. How could they not tell?
"I'm glad you're still talking to me."
Why wouldn't I?
"I didn't mean to disappear on you like that."
(I really didn't care.) Well, jail does get in the way. Where are you going right now, by the way? I have to get home...
"I'm waiting for my friend to give me a ride. My car was re-possessed."
Oh, that sucks. How are you getting to work?
"I got fired."
"But y'know, I have a lot more free time now, so...if you want to get together..."
That sounds GREAT.
"I've been kinda lonely."
Yeah, I would think jail is lonely.
"Actually, I always had roommates in jail, they were pretty hot. They kept me company."
Wow, this story just keeps getting better and better.
"Do you want to get together later?"
I don't know, I have to work.
"What about after?"
I have to work really late.
"Well call me when you're done."
That sounds good.
"We can make up for lost time. I learned a few things while I was in the gay jail."