MY NEWEST TV OBSESSION

We have very important things to discuss.

Specifically, America's Most Smartest Model.

It may be the most significant program aired on television.

A modeling competition where contestants must answer trivia questions before they get their photos taken? Never before has there been such a collection of profound subject matter and intellectually-stimulating dialogue.

It's nice to have another modeling show on TV, since America's Next Top Model is now unapologetically becoming the next Miss America pageant.

I'm specifically interested in a few things:

1) Is it reasonable to say "If I had kids, I would never let them watch this pointless mind-rot," or am I just getting old and uptight?

2) Are the guys a lot hotter on this show than the girls, or am I just a gay homosexual?

3) Do I really really want to be on Season 2 of this show because it's absolutely hilarious, or because I'm a TV whore?

4) The inexplicably-crazy Russian dude is delicious and that photo of him choking the poor woman was beautiful; and we could fill an entire book discussing the MENSA-level intellect of Mandy Lynn. But let's chat about Brett Novak.

(photo from VH1)

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Brett is "the face" of Papi Underwear, which is based down here in the Miami metro area. Papi had an underwear fashion show a few weeks ago--

--and of course Brett was on the runway, strapped into his little skivvies for everyone to see.

He's only about 5'9, short by "model" standards, but he's cute. And those brightly-shining veneered teeth undoubtedly disrupt flight routes for migrating birds; but again, he's cute. And he seems to be very nice. Should I feel bad about critiquing his teeth? Perhaps, but I don't. They're, like, so bright.

He's very smiley, though, which is great.

He was the only model to crack a smile during the whole show; the rest of them were serving up their best Blue Steel, which was silly, as they were parading in brightly-printed panties whilst on a stage next to the Hotel Victor pool. It wasn't exactly Paris Fashion Week, it was just a chance for the crowd to oogle some guys' baskets. So with his big smile, he was definitely the crowd favorite. The bod didn't hurt his popularity either.

So good luck to Brett. all of South Florida is rooting for him. As the show has already been filmed, fingers crossed he did well and he's the one who comes out as #1.

Although I am secretly in love with ADHD-afflicted Pickel.

Comments

[Nicholas Ajax Stamos]

Oh, my God. How much do I love that show!

Andre [The Russian].
Pickel.

And Jesse - not just 'cause I relate to the fat thing, although I am sucking in my stomach as I type this.

I love that show!

And Post Secret too...

[Bill Siegfried]

I'm so glad you posted this. I was sucked into the back to back episodes on Saturday; went on my DVR list immediately.

My thoughts:
1. yes
2. me too. I was thinking about that after the first episode
3. Both? :)
4. can not stand the russian guy..but he makes for good drama

my fav, the 'pet project' girl. She is screaming for a make over. I can not wait until they darken her hair. And do something with those lips..

[Beth]

1) It's reasonable.

2) Much hotter! But I'm a hetero gal.

3) Because it is absolutely hilarious and we all are TV whores.

4) Andre is HOT but what a dick! Although, I was totally with him on the lipstick, WTF was she thinking!?!?

[Debbie]

It is the best show on TV.

[AimeeG]

I think it is very safe to say that the guys are much hotter than the women on this show. The girls are either "high fashion" pretty, "Sears catalog" pretty, or "$20 blowjob" pretty. Which means they aren't pretty at all, save for Aussie Rachel, whose accent bumped her up to "I'd make out with her if I was drunk" pretty.

Signed,
A Lesbian.

[AimeeG]

Oh, P.S.

Slavco from "Kept"? Did they just cast this show from reality show rejects (no offense).

[D]

I have yet to watch this, but my mom LOVES it!

[Jeff]

lol, i've seen a couple of shows like this on chinese tv- where they have the models prepare and cook gourmet dishes according to a short explanation- some of the girls are amazing cooks similar to how smart some of these models are- the other girls are hilarious when they try to function in everyday life and fail miserably.

[Gregg Michael]

Yea that Russian is pretty attractive. Interesting concept for a show. That plastic girl you have a picutre of on here is so annoying and stupid but she's trying if that means anything!! ; P

[keith]

Balls. Cherries. Balloons. Tires.

I so hope Mandy Lynn takes it all.

[willam]

I WANT PICKEL JUICE!

[willam]

and how could ben stien have never heard of an umbrella tree?

[D]

I know Gaston, who was the first guy kicked off the show. He played it up a lot for tv, which was funny. Personally, who gives a damn if someone's not an Einstein when they look THAT GOOD, anyway? I guarantee you won't be talking about "how smart they are" with your friends at breakfast...

[tonyfrisco]

The show is brill, but really taking it to the next level, is Mary Alice. I can't exactly put my finger on it... but I think she's quietly stealing the show, from Mandy Lynn. It's pure Xanadu!

[skye]

I agree that Brett is best (after you Dan), but it seems that VJ has a lot of popularity out there. It's fun to see that models are not totally two-dimensional.

[Sharpay]

I so wanted brett 2 win buh when they called his name 2 go home i was so pissed vj had 2 go home what a cheat he step of the spinning thing urg wat a cheat nd he won i mean what mary aliche was in love with vj urggg . Brett was the hottest guy on the show xoxoxox i <3 u brett

[Ashli]

brett isn't 5'9"? I've seen him in person and he is probably a hair of 6 feet, but 5'9" puts him way to short to model with someone like Irene Marie. He looks good there though!