We have very important things to discuss.
Specifically, America's Most Smartest Model.
It may be the most significant program aired on television.
A modeling competition where contestants must answer trivia questions before they get their photos taken? Never before has there been such a collection of profound subject matter and intellectually-stimulating dialogue.
It's nice to have another modeling show on TV, since America's Next Top Model is now unapologetically becoming the next Miss America pageant.
I'm specifically interested in a few things:
1) Is it reasonable to say "If I had kids, I would never let them watch this pointless mind-rot," or am I just getting old and uptight?
2) Are the guys a lot hotter on this show than the girls, or am I just a gay homosexual?
3) Do I really really want to be on Season 2 of this show because it's absolutely hilarious, or because I'm a TV whore?
4) The inexplicably-crazy Russian dude is delicious and that photo of him choking the poor woman was beautiful; and we could fill an entire book discussing the MENSA-level intellect of Mandy Lynn. But let's chat about Brett Novak.
Brett is "the face" of Papi Underwear, which is based down here in the Miami metro area. Papi had an underwear fashion show a few weeks ago--
--and of course Brett was on the runway, strapped into his little skivvies for everyone to see.
He's only about 5'9, short by "model" standards, but he's cute. And those brightly-shining veneered teeth undoubtedly disrupt flight routes for migrating birds; but again, he's cute. And he seems to be very nice. Should I feel bad about critiquing his teeth? Perhaps, but I don't. They're, like, so bright.
He's very smiley, though, which is great.
He was the only model to crack a smile during the whole show; the rest of them were serving up their best Blue Steel, which was silly, as they were parading in brightly-printed panties whilst on a stage next to the Hotel Victor pool. It wasn't exactly Paris Fashion Week, it was just a chance for the crowd to oogle some guys' baskets. So with his big smile, he was definitely the crowd favorite. The bod didn't hurt his popularity either.
So good luck to Brett. all of South Florida is rooting for him. As the show has already been filmed, fingers crossed he did well and he's the one who comes out as #1.
Although I am secretly in love with ADHD-afflicted Pickel.