MISS AMERICA LIVES ON

Critics say the Miss America pageant is dead.

So few people watch it, the pageant can't even find a channel to broadcast it on TV anymore.

But it's not over; it lives on, as America's Next Top Model.

The show has moved from "modeling competition" to become the new Miss America.

Consider the following:

* Contestants must not only be pretty, but also display random talents. Note: acting workshops, dancing in Tyra's video, etc. I am waiting for the competition where they twirl flaming batons.

* The winners are awarded a contract as the "titleholder" of the competition, which includes money in exchange for working for the organization. This title lasts a certain amount of time; when the time expires and a new competition begins, that reigning titleholder makes one final appearance on the following season to say what a great time they've had, they've been so busy, etc. And you wonder what they've actually been doing, because you really haven't seen them doing anything except this competition itself.

* Contestants are given special consideration if they have some sort of disorder. Addendum: some sort of disorder other than bulimia, that's always a given with something like this.

* Contestants are given the opportunity to use the competition to speak out about issues they feel are important, i.e. single motherhood, drug abuse, the trials and tribulations of being a twin, etc.--even though this has absolutely nothing to do with winning the actual competition. To win, you just need to look good in a bikini and have a pleasant personality.

* Winners are much more likely to move on to careers as spokespersons instead of modeling, since they are too identifiable as being from the show. I.e., Yoanna: stint as host of some makeover show on E!, although is that still on?

* Some non-winning finalists, once on an infrequent occasion, will pull a Vanessa Williams and become very successful, all the while chuckling about that silly contest she was in years ago. I.e., Elyse Sewell. And just like Miss America contestants since Vannessa--other ANTM contestants besides Elyse...well?...

* The competition itself is laced with ridiculous singing/dancing productions that serve no real purpose other than to act as filler.

* The contestants cry a lot.

* The contestants want to use their reign as America's Next Top Model to demonstrate how they are strong, independent women who are capable of making the world a better place.

* In the Season 9 premiere, Tyra clearly states the Top Models are seen as "role models." Presumably Tyra is indicating they are role models for someone other than gay men, although nobody is certain who exactly that would be.

Comments

[Liz]

I can't believe you didn't mention Adrianne Curry and her "marry a Brady" fame... though I'm not sure which category that fits into.

I am looking forward to many deliciously awkward moments with Heather the Asperger's Syndrome girl. It's going to be a great season.

[Jose Romero]

hey D thanks for watching! sorry about the ruckus!!!! ill have throwing popcorn next time! ill have to rewatch. besos

j

[brittney]

Adrianne Curry and her Very Brady husband will be on Dr. Phil sometime soon, I saw the commercial. CAN THIS MARRIAGE BE SAVED?

Oh, I hope not.

[vince]

wait...a girl has asperger's this cycle?

oh holy christ. i hope she manages to not get eliminated early.

[magickat]

I was just wmentioning this myself. It sesems like in order to be a contestant you have to have a fucked up childhood, a fucked up accent, fucked up teeth, or a fucked up disease that you don't really show any characteristics of while on the show.

It's bizarre.

I watch all the time (example: right now the Yoanna/Mercedes walk off is on MTV) but it is still bizarre.

[s]

best show on television.

[Hephaestion]

Do I have to turn in my toaster oven?

I can't watch "America's Next Top Model" for 5 minutes without falling asleep. Why would a gay man care about this show? The attraction escapes me. Now toss some big ol' hunks up there on the screen and ya got me.

[Michael]

Hephaestion: exactly! I mean really, we see enough self-obsessed straight girls at gay bars as it is, why watch them on TV?!

[jason]

magickat: but that's exactly what tyra's m.o. has been and she's been pretty successful at it. take a disadvantage (ethnic minority, sexual orientation, disease, difficult background, f-ed up teeth) and dilute the characteristics so that you have many qualities of the advantaged majority and only one or two remaining vestiges of that disadvantage. (i.e. the weave and contacts and on/off ghetto slang diluting tyra's "blackness" with only her skin color to serve as a reminder that she is indeed african american. this makes her less threatening and more appealing/marketable to a largely caucasian majority. she fesses up to this on the tyra show in an attempt to get an asian girl with caucasian eyelid surgery and a caucasian boyfriend to admit to ingested self-marginalization. it doesn't work and the asian girl denies away and tyra is pretty pissed which is hilarious but totally beside the point. tyra's also obliquely mentioned this phenomenon when asking anchal "why the blue contacts?".)

the lack of "showing characteristics" also serves to reinforce the status quo by making us all feel good about the current social landscape. we are presented with someone who symbolically represents the category of disadvantaged minority but lacks many of the "disagreeable" qualities which identify them as a minority. we see someone who doesn't "react" the way the "others" do and it makes us say, hey--there's an example of a well adjusted individual--someone who can succeed despite these disadvantages.

this person is likeable and non threatening because they resemble the majority to a greater degree than "others" of the same category. this makes many think that these disadvantages aren't so much of a hindrance (marginalizes their adversity) and generates complacency, diminishing the impetus for changing the environment that fostered disadvantage on the basis of skin color/sexual orientation/f-ed up teeth etc. At the same time, I can recognize, and Tyra has indicated that she also recognizes, that some form of success (i.e. financial) requires some degree of submission toward a dominant ideology because well, they are dominant and you are not. Such is the world, but recognizing these things is pretty important towards figuring out how/what to adjust to reduce/eliminate inequity.

sorry so long, but cultural studies fascinates me.

[Matthew]

Dan..Did you know you can write to Elyse from Cycle one of ANTM? Check out her blog her to get the details. I sent her a post card and she did send one back...http://elysesewell.livejournal.com/

[Matthew]

Guess I should have read the blog before I posted--Oh Well...LOL

[Eric]

Great blog! I added you to my blogroll. I'd appreciate it if you'd consider linking back.

Most blogs allow you to enter your blog url in a special field in the comment section. If the blog doesn't have that feature, then you will also need to put my url in the comment.

[Gregg]

I used to like America's Next Top Model but your observations are dead on. Where are any of them? Plus what turned me off most was the fact a season would end and a new one would start within two months. Give the winner and some viewers some time. It's over kill!

[James]

So if ANTM is Miss America, does that make Project Runway the Special Olympics?

Just a thought?

[Sam]

Umm this was the most brilliant analysis I've read in a long time. I really wish I was joking, but... I'm not even a little bit :)

[Nate]

I don't watch much reality TV anymore, but that photo is nuts. Did they come to the photo shoot straight from Thunderdome?

[Faustus, M.D.]

Oh, my GOD, you are so TOTALLY right!

However, I am already way over the Asperger's storyline, especially as Heather has thus far displayed no characteristics of someone with Asperger's syndrome. The only way we know she has Asperger's is that the editors have made sure to include lots of clips of the other girls talking about how weird she is acting, when in fact she is not.