You post arrived at a very interesting point. Earlier in the day my brother told me that my nephew--a beautiful, happy, amazing 4 year-old--might have lymphoma. Needless to say I've sat in my office most the day in shock, or treating my staff slightly more bitchy than the norm.
He is just the sweetest child. He tells anyone who asks that he has 2 Daddies: he thinks of me, his uncle, as his Uncle Daddy. This is a little boy who in preschool, as a prize for good behavior, choose a pair of purple plastic heels because he loves to dance. No comment.
Thank you for caring, your post allowed me to contribute and actually take action against something that might attack my family. I gave up [number withheld] drinks in South Beach, and you're right--it feels much better.
Please keep my nephew in your best thoughts in prayers.
But not sad is the fact that people are donating! Love that. The info is here: Dan Renzi
I used to donate to charities because I thought it was important to "make a difference." Once in a while, I'd write big checks. It wasn't often. But once-in-a-while enough to make me feel like I could be snotty to people when I told them how significant I was being to the world.
But really, it wasn't much. I couldn't afford it.
So rather than cope with the sting of writing big checks, I started clicking on web sites where I saw good things were happening. AIDS research, political organizations, the occasional homeless shelter...and I'd give them a few bucks. Nothing anyone would notice on its own. But times change, and this is the internet, and thousands of other people were doing the same, so it added up immediately.
At the end of the year, I've given more money than I did when I would write checks big enough to "make a difference." I don't pay attention to who else is giving what, or how much. I just do it. It's better that way.
There are few other groups who can mobilize as rapidly and as effectively as the gays, when it comes to raising money. But while they (we?) are good at raising money for their own causes, it's also important to remember the rest of the world around oneself. In fact, one can argue that the "gay community" can make more impact by contributing to the world around them, instead of just sticking to their own causes all the time.
I'm raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, as a contestant in some crazy fundraising competition. But again, I'm not doing it for the competition aspect--as fearful as I am of coming in last place.
It's Tuesday morning. You're at work. I'm in your house.
So I'm going to spend the day going through your things. And I'm going to write about it here on my weblog on the internet because I know you read it. How do I know that? I know you've done your homework on me. It's a small world, you know.
Before we begin, I need a pair of shorts, so I'm not running around in my underwear. How about these gym shorts? They're on your floor and they're red. And they're a perfect fit. Okay.
Let's start with...hmm...let's start with the kitchen.
First of all, your kitchen is very clean, which is good. I'd like to once again commend you for your crystal decanter of Crown Royal sitting on the counter. Very sexy. But we've already discussed that. And right now, that is the safest decanter of Crown Royal on the planet, because I am most certainly not going to touch the stuff. Sheesh.
I commend you on your selection of cookbooks. A man with cookbooks is a man who is pro-active, who likes to do things for himself. Especially of note is the "Cooking With The Kennedys" cookbook on display. Such class! Yet we all know you're really using the "365: No Repeats" by Rachel Ray hiding in on the top shelf in the cabinet. You're not fooling anyone. I picked up the book and it fell open right to "#66, Chipolte Chili Mac." Now I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't find the Chipolte Chili Mac at a Kennedy family dinner. No, you wouldn't.
On the subject of your kitchen...you have nothing to eat. There's just 10 bottles of beer and a bunch of Healthy Choice frozen dinners. Those Healthy Choice things are all salt...21% of your daily allowance, that's TERRIBLE. Don't eat them. Ever notice how things labeled as "healthy" never are? Whatever, I'll just eat the rest of your Girl Scout cookies for breakfast.
Dang, you have a large selection of liquor.
Hmm...DVD collection in the living room. No dirty movies. You know I like the dirty stuff. And yes, I know you know I like it. But don't worry, that won't happen again.
Time to go upstairs.
(be right back)
Oh my God, you have a bidet. I am obsessed with these things. I take photos of bidets from around the globe. Do you use it? More importantly, how do you use it?
I just went back and looked at it again. It seems so strange to me. I presume it came with the house, you didn't have it installed. You don't seem the type. I'm not either.
Bedroom, pictures of the family. Cute. I should get some of mine. Shall I open your dresser drawers? Mmmmm...no. None of my business. Although I looked in your bathroom drawers but that's just because I was looking for toothpaste...to use with my finger, which is gross but it's the best I can do right now.
I will, however, look under the bed.
Just a box of sweaters. The contents of your dresser drawers are hopefully more scandalous.
By the way, not only do you not have a medicine cabinet--on this entirey floor, you have nothing on your walls. Why do guys forget to do that?
Okay, that's enough. I hope you had fun reading about me, writing about you. And please be advised I will never write about you here ever again, regardless of what happens. So feel free to keep reading this, without worry of what you'll discover. Although, wouldn't you rather not read it at all? Mystery always makes things so much more exciting. The fact that the drawers are there doesn't mean you have to open them and go through everything.
Have a nice day at work. And yes, I'm deleting all the Real World episodes off your TiVo. That whole "My old roommate used to watch them, they're not mine" story was a nice try, though.
1) Don't understand what is going on with Alberto Gonzales? Read that article in Newsweek. It's long, but still very, very interesting. The jist: it's not just about those fired prosecutors. It never is these days.
2) Friday night date: sushi and movie and alcohol-related hullabaloo. The movie? Waitress, starring Kerri Russell. So good! Fear not the independent film genre: while many can be dreadfully boring and indulgently introspective, Waitress is funny, cute, and very original. It's not perfect, by any means; the editing is sloppy, the story makes a few funny jumps. But stick with it. I loved this movie and I will see it again. Particularly delicious performances are turned in by Jeremy Sisto, the guy who sings "Rollin' with the homies" in Clueless--who knew he could really act?!?--and Andy Griffith. Yes, Andy Griffith.
3) If you haven't read a news story with the word "anus" in it today, get your fix with this one here.
4) If you haven't read a story today about how soda causes cancer, read this one here.
5) If you haven't looked at a picture of a naked French rugby player, look at this one here.
ADDENDUM: I was kidding. I don't think the entire situation is a big deal. Personally, I don't think it's Elizabeth's job to clarify what Rosie says, so she needs to stop yelling at people about something she said; I also don't think the opinions of the news media matter much. And for the record, I understood what Rosie was saying from the beginning, so if cable news anchors are too stupid to figure it out I'm not going to listen to their opinions anyway.
Here is a pretty good explanation of what the argument was all about, if you didn't catch it:
Rosie and Elizabeth fight
But there are smart arguments in the comments of this post, so ignore what I'm saying and just go right there. Seems pretty much everyone disagrees with me. READ ON, DANG IT--
I hope you have your TiVos ready. We need to discuss a few things about American Idol.
1) They obviously wanted Jordin to win, when they picked that song. It's like Season 1 all over again, with poor Justin Guarini trying to belt out A Moment Like This. The whole thing is Season 1...awkward big-boned girl who sings loud vs. cute guy with a boy-band voice who dances well and has a big smile and weird hair.
2) If/when Jordin wins, she'll make a really good album, I promise. Someome just needs to tell her what to do.
3) If Paula tripped on her dog, when she fell why didn't she hurt her hands?
4) If you didn't get the same interview where you live: here in Miami there was a bit with Anthony Federov, from seasons ago (remember the blonde skinny guy?). Apparently he's on Broadway in The Fantasticks. Great great show, and I'm sure he's fab in it.
Okay, TiVo-related business:
5) Go to Jordin singing that final song, when they cut to the audience and show Chris Richardson, Phil Stacey, and Melinda Doolittle listening. Look at the expression on Melinda's face. I cannot believe that bitch is up there instead of me. Vicious.
6) Blake has the biggest bubble-butt in Idol history. Seriously, look at his 2nd song. His waistband literally doesn't touch his back, because his pants are just hanging off his butt. And NOTICE, IN SONG 3, he has the front of his shirt out--but the back is tucked in. He's giving it a clear view. Goin' for the gay vote, methinks.
...and on a final note:
7) Did Randy dance on the Janet Jackston Rhythm Nation tour with that jacket?
PS: I have an image of Chris and Blake together and Chris is the pitcher. I'm pretty sure Chris, with that smirk on his face, knew Blake was singing right to him.
I am sitting in my bed eating almond-cashew-caramel popcorn from Nieman Marcus. I got it on sale, clearance, which made it a normal price. You know what? It's no better than the cheap stuff. Yet I'm sure people buy it full price and fool themselves into thinking it's better.
Things like this remind me of a story in my college paper--a restaurant review of a Jamaican place, where they served their food on plastic trays and you ordered off a board at the counter. The writer focused on a couple sitting next to him, who were from the Princeton area (20 minutes away from Rutgers) and were wearing matching running suits. They went on and on about how "fabulous" the food was, when really it was utterly mediocre. But they clearly wanted to discover the proverbial hole-in-the-wall place that is amazing, so they can gloat to all their friends. This is what this popcorn reminds me of. Rich people WANT it to be amazing. That is why they buy it at Nieman Marcus, at full price.
I went to a nightclub out in the Latin suburbs, hoping to find a nice man named Enrique or Guillermo or something, who will whisper sweet nothings in Spanish to me. But I must report, Latin men in the suburbs are just as undesirable as the men of various ethnicities found here in the city. The venture was a bust. Although the language barrier is fun. I like it when guys don't speak enough English to communicate, so they just come right out and ask what they really want. "You...go...my home...for the f&%$ing?" And they ask with their eyebrows raised in anticipation. Ha. Tempting, but...no.
Now I have to go brush the caramel out of my teeth. This stuff is a cavity in a bag.