OOPS
My friend had his birthday party the other day, at a swanky bar on the beach with bottle service and neat little cabanas.
He was very nervous--it was the first time his professional and his personal worlds would meet. Correction: collide. "The people I work with don't know I'm gay," he said, as we drove to the party.
I nodded in understanding. "Okay."
"There's still some people who don't know, but I wanted everyone to be invited to the party."
"Okay."
"And the people who don't know I'm gay can't find out."
"Okay."
"So be careful who you are talking to people."
Translation: Dan, keep your mouth shut. Got it. "Okay."
I was going to ask how I would know who knew what. But then the conversation turned to the search for parking, which proved to be difficult.
Cut to an hour later--when we were the only people at the party. Turns out our bad luck with parking was plaguing everyone, and they were panickedly calling my friend and pleading for help while looping the block. So as he shouted into his cell phone, it gave me plenty of time to partake in the bottle of vodka all by myself.
It was some delicious stuff.
I was good and liquored-up when the party attendees started to arrive, first an ex-boyfriend from years ago, then another ex he dated just a few months ago. And then a few minutes later, a young woman walked in. "This is my ex-girlfriend," my friend said.
Does he have any regular friends? I thought.
"It's nice to meet you," I said. "You're the third ex of his I've met. And the first one without a penis!"
She just looked at me.
Yeah, she didn't know.
She does now.
I'm sorry - I just peed a little while laughing. Anyone know of a good way to clean a couch?
Posted by:Erica aka Groovyyaya (since there seems to be another Erica on here now) | February 11, 2007 at 09:56 PM
Oops indeed. That's for putting a smile on my face on my birthday. Tee hee.
Love you!!!
Posted by:Jane Jane | February 11, 2007 at 11:59 PM
And then the waiter asked if you'd like some ketchup to go with that foot you just put in your mouth.
Posted by:Addison | February 12, 2007 at 03:02 AM
quality!
Posted by:vince | February 12, 2007 at 04:06 AM
WOW! Did YOU get the birthday spankings b/c of that little disclosure? You totally crack me up!
Posted by:jules | February 12, 2007 at 05:26 AM
speechless, dan. that's why you rock. so john amaechi and your friend come out in the same weekend!
Posted by:tekay | February 12, 2007 at 08:32 AM
No offense, but what was your friend thinking? That at a party with liquor you'd stay demure and hold your tongue? He'd have been better off handing you a sign to carry around that read "Yes, he's gay" and be done with it.
Posted by:David | February 12, 2007 at 08:57 AM
ah ah ( blushing ) sorry that was not funny. you rock Dan, you're the only one who can do that . eheh
Posted by:thibault | February 12, 2007 at 09:02 AM
Perhaps you misread her look. Maybe she was a tranny, and does, in fact, have a penis.
Posted by:Scott | February 12, 2007 at 09:07 AM
i can see not coming out to your co-workers, but not coming out to an ex? Personally, i'd rather know...that just sounds silly to me.
Posted by:Emily | February 12, 2007 at 01:46 PM
That fucking rocks! LOL!
Posted by:misscrankypants | February 12, 2007 at 02:13 PM
that was one of the funniest things I've read in a while...that sounds like something that would happen to me. I love your stories Dan!!
Posted by:Carl | February 12, 2007 at 03:39 PM
Yeah, that was a good idea - inviting a bunch of gay dudes to a fancy bar, filling them all with free alcohol, and then expecting them not to gossip. He might as well have had it at Janice Dickinson's house.
Posted by:Yummsh | February 12, 2007 at 04:21 PM
Dan . . . I'm really kind of surprised that you outed someone. Please read this kindly . . . but wouldn't you be upset if someone had done that to you? :)
Posted by:Euuuuu | February 13, 2007 at 07:36 AM
So outing someone against their will is bad, but lying to your friends and instructing someone else to lie to them as well is okay? I disagree.
Posted by:Yummsh | February 13, 2007 at 09:07 AM
um....like a seating chart he should have given you a list of names of who knew and who knew nada. krikey.
Posted by:Coy | February 13, 2007 at 01:22 PM
Isn't Florida one of those states where a person can be thrown out of their home and fired from their job JUST FOR BEING GAY? Maybe outing a "friend" isn't the smartest or nicest thing to do. Kinda makes me think that gay marriage isn't the priority we should be fighting for.
Posted by:Scott | February 13, 2007 at 05:57 PM
Dan, I just can't keep up with you and your boyfriends. It seems though that you go from one guy struggling with his sexuality to another. You need to find a nice openly gay man with a stable job and who lives in Cincinnati.
Posted by:Glenn C. | February 13, 2007 at 11:05 PM
Please note: the title of this post is "Oops."
People seem to be under the impression I did it on purpose.
I did not.
Read between the lines, people.
Posted by:dan | February 13, 2007 at 11:08 PM
Well, that kind of sucks. HOWEVER, the guy should have thought carefully about who he was inviting.
Especially if he's dating women and hasn't told them that he also dates men. That's pretty lame on his part.
Posted by:jackspratling | February 14, 2007 at 06:25 AM
Oh no you di'int! ;)
Posted by:Cher | February 15, 2007 at 06:35 AM