fancy party

Miami just saw the end of Art Basel, pronounced "BAA-zul, as in "cat" or "fat" or "where my boyz at" or something of the sort. Galleries put on huge exhibits of bizarre art, and then thousands of hipsters descend upon the city to wander around the galleries while holding a glass of wine and check everyone out while ignoring all the art itself. Big fun.

A few nights ago I went to a Basel party in the lobby of a hotel, where they served chunks of cheese chipped off a Parmigano-Reggiano wheel. Delish, if you've never had it you must get some. Not the Kraft sprinkle cheese in a green can, that stuff is crap. The real stuff...mmm.

The party was sponsored by Todd Oldham, a design guru who had a very high-fallotin' fashion line back in the '90's, with runway shows filled with the likes of Naomi Campbell and Linda Evangelista and other assorted supermodelness. I had no idea it was his party; I just went to meet friends, and decided to stay when I saw the wheel of cheese. Todd and I actually go way back--I was in the ad campaign for his "sportswear" line, Todd Oldham Jeans:

This was my first big job, shot by Gus Van Sant, who also directed the films Good Will Hunting and My Own Private Idaho and the re-make of Psycho. They flew me to New York, put me in a hotel, picked me up in a Town Car, the whole thing. The hairstylist hacked at my hair with a straightrazor for an hour, it took months to grow out. At the shoot I got to make out with the other model, a blond girl from Canada, while I tried to look butch for the camera. Notice those pictures were NOT published, it didn't really work. She was fun to smooch, though. Although all I really cared about was the hotel we stayed at, it was really cool. The Royalton.

I had never stayed in anything nicer than a Marriott before. I laid in the bed and rubbed the sheets, super-smooth and fancy, and stared at the ceiling for as long as I could stay awake so I wouldn't fall asleep and miss out on the fun of being there.

Soon after this campaign, Todd Oldham closed up shop. Although that was a smart move, he's now bigger than ever--he's a big designer for Target housewares, he designs hotels and such; but alas, he designs clothes no more. I like to think that my advertisment had something to do with the end of his business. I have the power to create bankruptcy!

When I saw him at the party, I introduced myself and said hello, prepared to explain that we met 10 years and 30 pounds ago. But he cut me off. "Dan Renzi?! Of course I remember you Dan Renzi. How are you Dan Renzi?" People say my name like that a lot, as one name. "This is John, and this is Chris, and this is Danrenzi, and this is Steve..." Funny.

Comments

[Jayne]

Oh my heavens...look at you!
Those lips might just be the end of me.
=)

[s]

dan...you have such great eyebrows.

[Mark]

That picture brought back the memory of how you flirted with me several years ago...you, naked. Me, squirming in my seat. You, prancing, me wanting to scream in ecstasy. But, I kept quite...staring... drooling...admiring.

Okay, so you only glanced my way...but there you were...all mine when your presence took over that stage. Woof...

When I drive by the 14th Street Theater, I think of that song by Everything But The Girl...Missing on the Amplified Heart CD.

[amanda]

Maybe it is the name "Dan". My best friend is named Dan and I call him by his first and last name all the time. But your name is so much more fun to say than his is.

[blackbird]

Well.
I'll keep it in mind.
I've been calling you Danielrenzi.
My internet friend Daniel, I've been saying.

[Jamie]

You should change your blog title to "How was your day, Danrenzi?" :)

[Todd]

At first glance I thought: Chris Stafford, Edge of Seventeen.

[Caleb]

I have a kitty named Basil.

[Jane Jane]

Oh my! Aren't you the hottie?

Okay, you're still a hottie, but whatever.

[Cessie]

The pic sorta reminds me of Jonathan Rhys Meyers. BTW, doesn anyone else think Rhys Meyers is gay? I just about bust out laughing in Bend It Like Beckham, way back when. I was thinking, "How are we supposed to believe that they're love interests." Although, I did like Match Point.

[Glenn C.]

Dan, that pic is so sexy. And I always say Dan Renzi!!! I think it is quite flattering to be addressed by one's first and last name. I do it with a lot of my friends but I usually add "This is my good friend John Smith" or "My good friend John Smith gave me this gift for Christmas".

[Jen]

Renzi is just cool to say! People know "DAN" but not the Renzi, so people think they are cool if they know your last name!
Ok let's talk Nip/Tuck!!!

[David]

Danrenzi should be an upscale brand of pasta.

[misscrankypants]

Damn you are hottttt! Always have been, still are, probably always will be.

I always refer to you as Danrenzi too. Of course, we've never met and it is probably weird for me to say that. BUT, It just flows so nicely off the tongue. Also, there are many "Dan"s; there is but ONE Danrenzi!

[jason stalcup]

I can sort of see a bulge in your pants. nice!

[Ed]

I wanna fuck u. Furthermore, isn't Todd Oldham (or as I say Old Ham) going to be in that new Bravo show about interior designers? It's like a twist on project runway and top chef. Looks like if he's going to get even more famous.

[Lynnster]

I don't know, I think I've read so many of your conversations with your mom and your Grandma now that now, instead of "Dan" or "Danrenzi", when I see or read you I think "Danny" in your mom's voice. Heh.

[StotheL]

Hee hee...hipsters.

Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.