Hello, and welcome to your Monday. I hope your Monday is going well.
I have a very serious issue I need to discuss.
My writing here is but a labor of love, I offer up my thoughts just for the sake of discussion. I give, and I give, I ask nothing in return.
I need your help.
I've never outright asked for help here. True, posts are sometimes used for the purposes of exploring certain topics, asking those who are in-the-know to share their knowledge with those who may benefit. But now that an obstacle stands before me which I have found utterly insurmountable, I cannot bear the anguish on my own any longer. I have nowhere else to turn, but to you, dear readers.
...has a combover. And I don't know how to deal with it.
He's a wonderful guy, a delightfully attractive person inside and out. He has a great body, big muscles popping out all over the place. Big brown eyes, nice smile. But how do you notice anything else, with what's going on with his hair? Egad.
His hair--dark chestnut with a natural body wave (so lovely! so sad to see it going!)--isn't entirely gone from the top of his head; the combover does blend in with some hair still growing there. But he blow-dries it straight and then applies a layer of hair-spray to cement it in place. The result is a kinked, brillo-ish mess that sweeps across his forehead, daring you to not stare at it.
Some say "Just tell him to shave his head!" The trick to shaving your head is having a good head-shape, which he has. But he's tanned a lot, and now has the freckles and sunspots of premature aging. I do wonder if going totally bald will make him look older.
I've hinted around about the possibility of "doing something," whether it be a more modest haircut or a complete shave or SOMETHING, but he never responds well. So I've dropped it. But really, it looks awful--all that long, stringy, sticky-looking hair plastered on top of his head like a spider web that's being stretched too tight. And then when the wind blows, sometimes it catches the breeze and flops up so it's sticking straight up from his head, which he quickly (and embarrassedly) slaps back down. Anything would be better. Is "embarrassedly" a word?
I feel helpless, watching him walk out into the world every day with his hair spritzed and sprayed across his head like that. I realize it goes deeper than the hair. I don't want to hurt his feelings. But I'm ready to call A&E and stage an intervention.
note: My friend isn't aware of this blog. English is not his first language--this is Miami, remember--and he spends no time on the internet
except for cruising for sex but we all have needs don't we?