My family's house is going to be packed with people, and I'm going home for Christmas just a few weeks after anyway. So...this time, I'll do something for myself.
I think it would be best to leave the US, since this country will be entirely ensconsed in Thanksgivingness, obviously. It's why I'm leaving Miami in the first place. Choices:
1) San Juan, Puerto Rico
PROS: I went to PR on a college "field study" for an econ class, and fell in love with the entire island. Granted, we spent most of our time crawling around farms and visiting local businesses--including one memorable afternoon in a chicken death camp "processing plant" (I will never forget)--but I'd rather take a more touristy approach this time, methinks.
CONS: Don't speak Spanish and don't know a single person there. San Juan is a big city, but I don't know where to stay, don't know where to go, nothin'.
2) The Bahamas
PROS: Really cheap flight, as it's super-close to Miami. It's, like, right over there. ----->
CONS: Freeport can be a nightmare of perpetual Spring Break pandemonium; the outer islands are the nice spots, but getting to those outer islands can be a long trip, which is not advantageous for this deal. And they don't like the gays, no they do not.
3) St. Croix, Virgin Islands
PROS: Gorgeous. Or so I've heard, never been there.
CONS: I get the impression this might be a "romantic" kind of place, where you either (a) go to the beach, which isn't much of a draw AS I LIVE IN MIAMI BEACH, or (b) lay in bed giving your special someone eskimo kisses. And, uh...choice (b) will be hard to do, lying in bed by myself.
4) Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic
PROS: Totally exotic, know nothing about it. Very authentic local culture, if you get out of the all-inclusive resorts (which I intend to do). It sounds exciting, I love challenging travel.
CONS: Know nothing about it. Don't speak Spanish, which actually might be more problematic than in Puerto Rico. Am I really ready for this place?
PROS: Really beautiful place. Lovely Dutch heritage. Lots of snorkeling and diving and such. Not as over-run by tourists as other Caribbean locales.
CONS: Who knows something about Curacao???
Any suggestions? Feel free to email or comment or whatever.
If you don't like the q&a "meme" thing you'll hate this, don't read it. It's just a meme. From The Queen of Tuvalu who got it from somewhere else. Apparently they do them every Friday. Very introspective, personal-diary-ish, old-skool blogger kind of post.
My boss is out these days. I was tapped to do her job in her absence. No one listens to me and they all take 2 hour lunch breaks and dare me to say something, but other than that I'm handling it. I like the way her chair feels, it's much more comfy than mine.
To commemorate the ghoulish season, please enjoy the Ramalama Ding Dong zombie-stomp from So You Think You Can Dance. I love this clip so much, I have watched it every day since Scott posted it. And please send Halloween party pics!
In celebration of the bruises finally disappearing from my bum, after my first and last attempt at visiting Stripperville, I present this old post about a chapter of naughty days past. It's just a story.
Tonight I made arrangements to live out of the box a little, and attend a book club.
It's mostly the shock of finding people in Miami who actually read, really, that inspired me to make the commitment. People here don't read. No seriously, they really don't.
The meeting is tonight. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that I realized I hadn't actually read the book in question. Oh yeah. So I'm listening to it on CD, while I sit at my desk and pretend to work. "The Night Listener" by Armisted Maupin, quite possibly the most stressful book ever put to print. (And CD.) The film based on the book is being released in a few weeks, just in time for Oscar consideration (Robin Williams and Toni Collette star), but I don't think I'll be able to handle it. I already have a headache.
So the point of this post: Tonight is also "Ugly Betty." And I don't have TiVo. I don't even have a VCR. I will die if I miss it. Stupid book club.
Someone record it and send it to me and I'll send you a present as thanks.
Yesterday a friend and I went to lunch, where our server pointed an accusational finger at me. "I remember zjou," she said with her Cuban accent. "You came in here three months ago and zjou were so angry. Why you so angry all the time?"
I'm not, I told her.
"Zjou are angry right now!" she said. "You voice so big, and you frown like dees," and she put a scowl on her face.
I told her, alas, that is just the way my face looks. All the men in my family have scowls.
She rubbed me on the head and walked away. She meant it in love, I guess.
I get these comments all the time, questions of why I look so bored or what is wrong or why don't I smile once in a while? Well, I was in a perfectly good mood until you started telling me I look bad, and now I'm just self-conscious.
So I have this new life for myself down here, walking around amongst the lovely ocean blues. I have this job that I like. I have my little apartment, with the garden in front where I stick plants in the ground to make things nice, and most of them are even not getting stepped on anymore by my drunken neighbors, which is good. I like to think they're being careful and considerate, shaping themselves up. I'm still in the process of making friends, getting past the hordes of weirdos who feign friendliness to cover up the fact that they're desperate for meaning in their lives. This is Miami, after all, those people abound.
In celebration of good fortune--who knew things would go so well?-allow me to share my New Rules of Life, the things I have most assuredly learned.
1) Grey Goose doesn't give you as bad of a hangover as Stoli.
2) If he tells you he has a boyfriend, he will never leave him for you. He obviously doesn't care about either him, or you.
3) You can always use the showers at the beach. And no one will think you're weird if you bring soap.
4) If you own $150 jeans, you have no business spending less than $50 on a haircut. A $50 haircut makes you look a lot better than $150 jeans. If you do spend less than $50, then when you put those $150 jeans on, it looks like the jeans are wearing you.
5) You drug addict friends will always let you down, eventually.
6) Your job interview is almost over within the first minute that you walk in the door.
7) The stereotype of "drives a really fast obnoxious car" = "tiny penis" isn't true. Sometimes they're big. But he's probably bad in bed.
8) If he tries to buy your affection, he's compensating for a hideous personality. That one is true, definitely. The gifts only mean trouble.
9) Free laundry night isn't worth it.
10) Smiling at people makes things better for yourself. Seriously. Smile at people, on purpose. Try it.
This is a customer in the Coffey Men store in Provincetown, MA, posing next to the infamous dress.
...and we read the form wrong. The dress cost $475, and the $20 was the shipping.
That dress would have been cool if Laura had maybe put a slit in the leg and added another ruffle along the opening. And done something else with the sleeves. And refused to let the dress be put into a bag of any sort, as to not crush it. It was a good idea though.