My Day

I am the world's worst photographer, and my camera is not the best. But I tried to get some pictures of the Marc Jacobs show. These are the ones that were at least in focus.

Click on pictures to enlarge.

~~~

8:15 AM: Jump out of bed. As always, late. Shower, etc.

8:25 Go to closet to get dressed--but pull out "special occasion clothes," kept in the back. Super-expensive/hand-wash-in-cold-water jeans, Louis Vuitton shirt. Boots, Marc Jacobs. Spray of cologne, Roberto Cavalli? No, getting on a plane, shouldn't make oneself smelly when sitting so close to someone else.

8:30: Start to pack bag.

8:40: Put bag back in closet. Screw it, buy clothes there if need be. I'm only going for one night.

8:45 Go to airport. No time for food.

10:10: Fly to New York. Whoosh.

1-something: Land at La Guardia. Driver waiting, holding sign that says "D. Renzi." That's me! Hello. Walk to waiting car. This time, it's an Escalade. Not the most practical choice for NYC streets but whatever.

1:30: Arrive in the city, Grammercy Park Hotel, 23rd and Lex. Consider asking driver to take a detour via Greenwich Village, to make a stop at Magnolia Bakery for some cupcakes. Greenwich Village is, literally, on the other side of Manhattan, and perhaps not worth the prolonged bouncing of riding in this Escalade through twisty, extremely narrow, pot-hole-filled streets of the Village. Resist cupcake urge. But mmm, they're so tasty.

1:45: Walk through spooky burgundy hallways to room...with nothing to drop off but invite to tonight's event, which was waiting at regisration desk.

.

1:46: Stand in middle of hotel room, wondering what to do.

1:47: Leave hotel room.

1:48: Ride down in elevator with gaunt young man with long black stringy hair. When he enters the elevator, he literally puts his head in the corner and leans against the wall the whole way down. It's exhausting sometimes, just riding in an elevator. Glamour takes a lot out of you. He has to be a model.

1:50: Cab up to 50th and 5th Avenue, to shop for clothes at the holy trinity of low-end fashion: H&M, Mexx, and Zara. Make mental note to not wear any of these clothes to tonight's event. Practically buy out H&M's entire stock of socks and underwear. Satisfy obsession for buying new underwear.

6:00: Meet friend at Dean & Deluca for delicious fish filets and green tea. Not exactly a cupcake but good nonetheless. Spill tea on Louis Vuitton shirt. Oh well, back to H&M it is.

6:55: Oh damn, is that really the time?

7:45: After dropping off socks and undies (and dirty shirt) at hotel, run up the street to The Armory, which is a gymnasium now used to store military vehicles. It's emptied out for fashion shows, however, so Army trucks and jeeps line the streets. It all looks very intimidating. Only in New York will they move military equipment to make room for fashion shows.

7:50: Get in line behind hordes of fashionistas, trying to get in to event with scowls on their faces. These bitches are more intimidating than the Army trucks. Why are they so grumpy?...we're all getting in, and it's assigned seating.

8-something: Take seat in the bleachers. Runway is bright green; floor is filled with blue rock-like things. All very cool and futuristic.

8:10: Sitting behind me is Miss Jay from America's Next Top Model, who is very chatty. Pulls out his T-Mobile Sidekick and shows me pics of his "trade," young men in sexually-compromising positions. Yes, naked. And gorgeous! Good for Miss Jay. And how nice that he showed them to me...at a fashion show.

8:15: Mischa Barton sits down directly to the right. She looks great in a gold-sequined minidress. She's with some guy who has a nice smile. Paparazzi attacks, stepping on my feet as they take her picture. Uh, hello, I'm on cable TV, don't you want a picture of me??? Well...no.

8:19: Try to chat with Mischa Barton.

8:20: Fail miserably at attempts to chat with Mischa Barton.

8:21: Silently pledge to never watch another TV show starring Mischa Barton.

8:25: Maria Sharipova sits down in seat to my left. She is stunning, tall and lovely, and politely shy. And she has on great shoes.

8:30: These bleachers are not that comfy. Crowd gets restless. Jared Leto stands up, grabs a handful of the blue rocks on the floor, and hands them out to the audience. Oh, they're candies. They will all be donated to a chemotherapy treatment center, since you need to eat popsicles or suck on candy during treatment?...I don't know why, but apparently that's the case. That's a nice thing to do, give them free candy.

8:26: Kanye West takes a piece of candy. Lil' Kim politely declines.

8:28: Try desperately to make eye contact with Ashton Kutcher, to let him know I want to have his babies. Alas, he ignores me and pays attention to his goddamned wife.

8:29: Miss Jay pokes Mischa Barton on the shoulder, addresses her as "Miss Thing," and says "Stop slouching! You need to sit up straight!" and informs her that her posture is "killing" him. Mischa Barton's response consists of a look that cannot be described in written form. But I can act it out really well, it was super-nasty. (Note: Look here, and judge for yourself.)

8:30: Show starts. Music is "Pachelbel's Canon in D Minor," lovely lovely. The show is really, really cool.

8:50-ish: Show is over. So soon? Head back down to Grammercy Park Hotel for huge fabulous party.

9:15: Party is a fundraiser for NYU's Skin Cancer Research institute. On the walls are life-size photos of various celebs posing in the nude, including Julianne Moore, Rufus Wainright, Hilary Swank, Winona Ryder, that hot guy who is the lead singer of Incubus...lots of people. All images are reproduced on t-shirts sold at the party, with 100% of money raised going to fund research. Very cool. I buy the t-shirt with Selma Blair; her picture is the best.

10:30: Everybody is at this party, so much fun. Resist the urge to take pictures...until Posh Spice walks by. Oh, I just must! Try to get a picture, but she shoots me a nasty look and walks away. But it's not nearly as nasty as Mischa Barton's look. Posh Spice, by the way, is tiny. (Note: Notice her outfit is different than what she wore to the show. So fierce!)

12:15 AM: Winona, you must try some of this wine! It is delicious! Oh wait, I drank the whole thing, sorry.

1:00 No, Miss Jay, I can't go out, I must go to bed. My car will be here in 5 hours.

1:05: Well, I can always sleep on the plane...

~~~

11:00 AM: Walk into office back in Miami, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. Co-worker announces "Oh good, Dan is here. He knows how to fix the printer."

11:01: Un-jam printer paper.

11:02: Sit down at desk. Turn on computer, check emails, read daily metadata report. Think back a mere 12 hours ago, tossing back drinks with fabulous people, having flown to New York City for a party. Smile to self. Just another day.

Comments

[willam]

A reading from first Corinthians of Shelia E.
She wants to lead the Glamorous Life
She don't need a man's touch
She wants to lead the Glamorous Life
Without love
It ain't much

Please except the body and blood of Marc Jacobs as the holy spirit into your hearts.
(It's 2 pm and i'm smashed)

[erik]

wow, that's a whirlwind trip!

i don't think i'd survive a day of work after that.

[tekay]

who is this miss jay from Project Runway? The only true Miss Jay is on America's Next Top Model (sept 20 coming to the cw nearest you).

holla

NOTE: I changed it in the post, it's Miss Jay from ANTM. Holla back.

[Kenneth]

Um... What kind of cupcakes?

[blackbird]

It's a good thing you are a baby.
That shit'll catch up with you -

Sophia's top is HORRIBLE, yes?

[Deb]

Have you seen the purse that MJ designed for Louis Vuitton? The handle is shaped like a set of headphones. I want one in the worst way - it's only $14,000.00. Maybe I'll buy two...

[Kel]

Sigh, Champagne and Printer Jams, ain't it the truth.

[muffin]

http://editorial.gettyimages.com/ms_gins/source/home/home.aspx?pg=1

Hey do a vanity search for yourself there! Also, you look hotter than Mischa.

[Jane Jane]

You're fabulous. Can I be you for Halloween?

Mischa Barton scares the hell out of me. I'm glad Miss Jay had the guts to tell her that her posture was all wrong. Woot.

[Karey]

Just stumbled across your blog today.. love it!

[Ernesto]

Wow, thats like a cinderella day for you. Im jealous. Anyway, I stayed at the Gramercy Park Hotel too and I agree about the scary hallways. Have a good day Dan, hope you Tivo-ed Project Runway coz Id like to hear your take about last nights episode..

[blaugra]

Oooh la la, I love going with you to the fashion show. Mischa can suck it.

[desertwind]

http://gettingtomaybe.blogspot.com/2006/09/who-is-biggest-celebrity.html

Gosh, you're a cutie-pie!

[MCV]

so where is the pic of the Selma t-shirt???

[theprgayboys]

Very funny, Dan. And it sounds like you had a good time. Yes, Magnolia Bakery has the best cupcakes. We love them.

[MappyB]

Someone just mentioned your blog to me today, and I must admit, I didn't/don't watch the Real World, but I love this blog! I read your 'Conversations with Grandma' and it totally reminds me of my Grandma - how funny.
I have moved around a lot too (non-celebrity related reasons), and my aunt and sister were discussing where I currently live now. My aunt said one state, my sister said my current state (DC region), and my grandma sighed, shaked her head and said, "I think she lives in the state of CONfusion!"
Too funny!

[kathy]

Dan, I love you. I always have and I always will. But I challenge you to a toe-stomp duel to see which of us gets to birth Ashton's babies.

[Roy]

Sounds like an awesome day!!!!

[Hans]

11:03
Post pretentious blog entry where trip to NY is treated as any other day for a former reality show contestant who now works as a bar back (and not a very good one.)

[Kevin]

Hey Dan...I TOTALLY agree with you about the Gramercy Park Hotel....I thought it looked like one of the hallways in the movie "Susperia"! FREAKY!!!!

[muffin]

Pretentious? Pfft. If you don't like it, nobody is forcing you to read it.

[Jesse]

Hans sounds like a bitch. A jealous one too.

[Tiffany]

i'm very happy that you ended up going

[Steven.]

I'm so surprised you didn't see me waving to you on the other side of the runway.

Too busy admiring Ms. Barton, huh?

[boymedexam]

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