Last week I went through a severe bout of self-humiliation and bad luck.

Remember this?

Yeah.

I got the job.

The dude hired me.

I'm not going to say what company, as that would screw it up and get me fired. But it's really really good. Big stuff.

I didn't say anything until today, after I worked there a few days. I didn't want to jinx it by talking about it, before I was sure he wouldn't tell me it was all a big joke to get even for all the drama I caused. But I have a desk and a parking pass and I filled out tax info and everything. Today, when I yelled at the guy sitting next to me for making Chewbacca noises, I realized I felt secure that I wasn't going anywhere. Finally.

I haven't had a real job in a long time. Years. But I heard about that whole "job" thing, and I figured I'd give it a shot. Just kidding, I'm broke, I had to. And I didn't want to become so desperate for money that I'll do a Challenge.

All those interviews that went so well, and bupkus. The one I ruin, and it all works out. Funny.

Comments

[Me.]

Mazel Tov, Dan! I hope it goes very well for you. That is awesome...

Chewbacca noises, huh? I wish that I had the balls to yell at some of my co-workers for some of their annoying (but no Chewbacca) noises. One of my co-workers does clear the flem from her throat and starts talking about how she "swallowed a bale of hay" if I cough and another co-worker asks me if I'm okay. The flemy co-worker also cries at the drop of the hat.

Can I send her menopausal ass to a Challenge? I wouldn't call her "Fresh Meat" but she'll do anything for an extra dime.

[Glenn C]

Dan:

Congrats on the new job. I hope it works out. I really hate these Fresh Meat nipshits. MTV has really stooped low with this last challenge. It isn't a challenge without a Norman,Puck,Beth,Ruthie,John, Eric,Teck,Heather B.,Steven(the one who slapped the girl with Lime disease),Dave, Aneesa,Julie,Montanna,Genesis,Lars, and any of the real challengers. This kids are getting younger and younger like preteen.

[Chad]

Apart from the WTF reaction... congrats.

That doesn't mean you have an excuse to post any less! I've come to enjoy getting near-daily posts.

x
C

[misfithausfrau]

Congrats. I once got a job DESPITE the fact that my car hold rolled out of park and hit the owner's BRAND NEW mercedes that he had JUST driven from the car lot. I also had a choking fit in the middle of the interview. They had hazing material for months.

[blackbird]

Woot.

I guess he needed someone who could be a little bitchy.

And good for you! NO CHEWBACCA NOISES IN THE WORKPLACE.

[Lynnster, yeah]

Wow... I didn't see that one coming! Congratulations!

[Christine]

Yay Dan! Congrats. I hope you enjoy office life, it might be a bit jarring if it's been a while. But hopefully it will be just like getting back on a bike. :) Best of luck to you.

[A-Nonymous]

What is your job function at the new gig?

[Jess]

Congrats on the new job! Hope it's great!

[Liz]

Congrats on the new gig Dan. I hope it works out and don't feel pressured to talk about it here if you aren't comfortable. :)

[David]

Can I assume you've mastered the door by now? Congrats.

[Kamasutra Jones]

AWESOME! Congrats, Dan. Hope it's something you enjoy and brings you much wealth, whether financial or otherwise.

[spice girl]

I HATE the phony-world challenges. Do people like Tina ever have real conversations about real things that matter?

congrats on getting the new gig!

And... perhaps you can give me some pointers on how I can tell my (male) co-worker to PEE with the bathroom door completely CLOSED -- not ajar -- because I do not appreciate hearing his urine stream especially after coffee break. Ugh.

[willam]

Yay! have you found a lily and jane yet? you're obviously the dolly.

[DannyK]

Well, naturally you were selected - you most impressed them! They could not possibly forget The Door Guy. hehehe

Sitting in an office, eh? Ack. I hope I never hafta do that again, unless it's just me, alone. I hate being around people all day.

Best of luck to you, Dan !!

[Bettie Bloodshed]

Congrats!!
I guess sometimes those silly silly embarassing things that happen to us actually help!

I mean..it means that you can look like a doofus (not saying you did...I have issues with doors myself)

and still get a job!

ooh amazing you!! :D

[DannyK]

Pardon me: not 'The Door Guy' ... THE DOOR BITCH !! hahahaha

[dan]

No, I don't think I'm the Dolly. I'm much more prone to wearing ridiculous hats and breaking the copy machine. I'm definitely Jane. Although if Chewbacca keeps up with the throat-gurgling speaking, I just may switch some rat poison with his Skinny & Sweet.

[Coy]

Yep! In all of the drama there was probably a quality about you that he liked and thought he could work with. Good On You Dan. Welcome to corporate american, there will be lots of wire hangers and bumpy nights but it all goes down well with the after work cocktail. Trust.