I Am So Famous

I was asked to answer some questions for a local gay bar magazine here in Miami, to publicize my big fancy birthday party. FYI: we're having this party because I bartend once a week at this place. I'm not making any money off of it or anything. It's just a really fun night, I love working there, and we thought it would be fun to have a big trashy evening. So I said I would do the interview, if I got to poke fun at myself a little and not take things too seriously. Although I am extremely serious about presents, I hope you've bought one for me.

And then I got the questions--one of which was:

"Do you think any Reality TV person is automatically regulated to the celebrity D-List?"

This is what it's like to be me. How nice! Excuse me while I go shoot myself in the head.

I didn't answer them for the magazine, but I'll answer them here. Read below:

1) So how does it feel to be back in Miami?

How I missed Miami! This is the city where it all began for me. Had it not been for Miami, I would have finished college on time, gone on to get my Master's in international relations as I planned, and would currently have a career. Now I'm just hoping to marry money.

2) Kathy Griffin frequently talks about being on the celebrity D-List. Do such lists exist within the world of Reality TV veterans, or do you think any Reality TV person is automatically regulated to the celebrity D-List?

So you're saying I'm on the D-List?

3) When people see you behind the bar, what kind of reaction do you get?

Well... usually they say "Can I have a ____" and then they say the name of a drink.

4) What was the weirdest encounter you have had with someone who has recognized you from the show?

Once there was this reporter in Florida who referred to me as "automatically regulated to the celebrity D-List." That was weird.

5) The Real World catapulted reality television into the stratosphere. So despite your relative young age, you are somewhat of a Reality TV veteran. What is it like to hear yourself described in those terms?

I was gay on TV before Ellen, Will & Grace, and way before anyone knew who Kathy Griffin was. I think the "veteran" label is a compliment.

6) Speaking of Reality TV, Sharon Osbourne once said in an interview that someone like Victoria Gotti shouldn't have a show "just because her father was a hood." Are there any Reality TV people out their who just grate on your nerves, like say Omarosa of "The Apprentice"?

Omarosa is brilliant. Almost as brilliant at Janice Dickinson. The only person I can't handle is that Joe guy, who hosts Fear Factor. I like that show, but I have to put it on mute, so I don't hear him screaming at the contestants like anyone cares. He is awful at his job.

7) If you had to hook-up with any MTV cast mate, who would it be and why?

Let's go back to that D-list comment. Let me ask you: Why do people feel the need to categorize for me my own level of success? For whatever it's worth, it's not like I have an agent and I'm going on auditions, trying to take Hollywood by storm. MTV calls me. And they still call--I just hosted some stuff last January, for the new season. At least after 10 years, I'm still on the list at all, which says more than most people. On that note: how does it feel to write for a D-list bar rag? Isn't that a fun question to be asked?

8) You have appeared on a lot of the "Real World" spin-offs. Was there ever a point where you were tempted to decline an invitation?

I've declined several times, when I was busy. They've asked me almost every time. But there's not much into getting cast on those Challenges, you just put your name on a list if you're available and then they sorta pick at random. It's basically reality-TV summer camp.

9) Do you find any pressure to capitalize on you Real World exposure, or are you so over that by now?

No, I do not need to capitalize on my Real World exposure.

10) Finally, would you say you have ever been preyed upon by a star fucker?

Yes, thank God, or I wouldn't get any at all.

Comments

[David]

You are so well grounded, I mean for the fabulous freak that you are. I adore you.

[dan]

those are all hilarious, and I agree completely about the stupid list comment, keep up the great writing. later.

[kristin]

It's [i]relegate[/i] to the D list, not regulate. That D list bar rag must not even have a copyeditor so fuck 'em.

love ya!

[Coy]

Good Lord! The was hysterical. Absolutely.

[Iconoclast]

regulate.....nucular.....must be a Republican.

[ethan]

funny shit, yo...

[tater]

Tater prayed and prayed to the Gods for some star fuckers of his own.... they never showed up... Maybe Tater should have preyed and preyed..

Tater would be a star fucker, but Stars have a tendancy to put out restraining orders against the Tater..

[Amity]

I can't believe you're hating on Joe Rogan...

[Kamasutra Jones]

Like Dan said, it's RE-LE-GATE, not regulate. Definitely a D-list reporter for a D-list fag rag. And you, Dan Renzi, are SO not the D-list. Though, hanging with Kathy Griffin wouldn't be SO bad. You're right on Janice, however. She's the bomb! You should do a show with her!

Love ya!

[Jordy]

Never let go of your short-term memory.

[Lynnster, yeah]

Just wanted to say have a very Happy Birthday, Dan. Have a blast tonight, wish I was nearby and could come!

[Glenn C]

Dan:

Your answer to "what is your weirdest encounter from somebody who recognized you from the show" was so funny I almost wet myself. Why would you turn down a challenge? I heard MTV gives at least 6k for a challenge just for showing up. I hope this was a short post. ;P

[Mark]

Loved your answers.

Hated the questions.

Can I interview for my radio show?