Top Model is so over. Let them cry, I don't care. New TV obsession: Deadliest Catch on the Discovery Channel. I know you're not watching and you must start immediately.
I've been stuck in my apartment for the past few days, teetering on the edge of my couch for hours on end, watching those damn marathons. I'm so busy I forget to eat, yet I find five hours in the middle of the evening to sit and watch a bunch of scraggly carnie-types haul metal cages out of the water. Excuse me, those are called "pots." I know the correct terminology now.
Let me just say, I think crabs are gross, nothing more than underwater cockroaches. Sushi: I eat California rolls with "krab," thanks. Second: you know those guys stink. Blech. I can smell them through my TV.
But I can't get enough of the Hansen brothers, with their blond hair and Vikingness and pink-lipped-cuteness. I respect their hard work, I really do, blah blah blah, being a fisherman is hard. I am terrified every time the boat rolls that someone is going to slide right into the ocean and die immediately of shock. This show is exhausting to watch. I'm a mess. But then Edgar Hansen blinks or breathes or just stands there and it's all about him being cute and I am googling "how to become a fisherman" just so I can have the chance to haul pots with him and share a bunk. Am I really that guy? Do I really watch Deadliest Catch and dream of spooning with Edgar? Is THAT what I get from this show? Pathetic. But hot damn, they're just so butch and cool. Even though I get the impression there are a few fisherman that also make the occasional appearance on Cops.
I was in a van the other day with a group of people, and we hit some bumps. I threw myself across the seat and started screaming for Edgar to secure the pots. No one got it. People, we must start watching this show. Although you can mute it whenever Hiram is talking. Don't know who Hiram is? You'll learn.