• AG is not finished. Trust, there is much, much more. He is just taking a hiatus. And it's right at the good part! Perfect timing. Maybe by the time it comes out in a book, I will have the guts to ask him his name.

• I find that every time I come to Miami, something happens. TV shows, career choices, boyfriends who are trouble but oh, so cute. It seems now that opportunity knocks again: I have been offered a job in Tampa, Florida, working for an organization that trains wild birds. I've done this before, in Los Angeles--I volunteered for a center that rehabilitated abandoned cockatoos, parrots and macaws. These birds are about as intelligent as a small child, and people think they make good pets; but then when they're not stimulated enough, they go bonkers and either become violent or start mutilating themselves, which is horrible either way. But the birds with this organization are very happy, their wings aren't clipped but they don't fly away because they like hanging out and eating the bird food and playing games. And it's not just little birds; they train vultures, emus, they have a cassowary which is over 6 feet tall and can kill people...pretty cool. I'll try to stay away from the killer birds, thanks.

I really wasn't planning on this, but I don't think it would hurt to make a choice based on forging a career for myself. Ironic, perhaps, that I am making a responsible choice by getting a job training birds to fly through hoops and sing songs, but I've been playing Peter Pan for so long, working for myself, screwing around.

It wouldn't happen for a while, and I don't believe anything is going to work out until I'm standing there, in the moment. Life has a way of not happening the way you plan. But it's always good to remember you're never trapped, if you don't like where you are you can pack up your desk or pack up your car and just move, to a new job or a new home and start over. There is no such thing as "can't" except in your own head. And other people only know you're holding yourself back when you tell them that you are. You want to lose weight? Don't say you're on a diet. You want to quit smoking? Don't tell people you want a cigarette. Then they can doubt you, and that makes you doubt yourself. You don't like your job? Get a new one, waiting tables or anything, and start over, drive a crappy car for a while and don't use your cell phone all the time. You'll never move on as long as you keep going to work to pay for all those expensive toys you've convinced you want.

Here's an exercise: If you don't like your present situation, cut everything out for two days, one night. No cable TV, no cell phone. Just the basics. Live like it's 1980. No iPod, just the radio and what's on the major networks. You think you will become bored, but you will find such relaxation, you will wonder why you haven't allowed yourself to feel that way for so long. You might even (gasp!) read a book or call your parents or something. That is the first step in learning how to feel good again. It's not scary if you take it one step at a time. And then you will realize how much has enslaved you into this life.

Come to Tampa, and say hi. I'll be the guy with bite marks all over my hands.

• Men are not opportunities, relationships are not solutions, and we are all perfectly interesting on our own merits.

Repeat. Forever.

Comments

[Ed]

Congratulations, I think this is perhaps the best entry I have seen in a long time. Good luck with everything and cheers to your state of mind. It's wonderful to see that calm there.

[Red]

lovely.

[Coy]

Perfectly timed. Most inspiring.

[Rudy]

Oh, wow. This affects me in more ways than one...

[Addison]

Welcome to the neighborhood, Dan. Are you going to be working at Busch Gardens or Lowry Park Zoo?

[k]

This speaks directly to my current situation, except I don't even have the car to pack up ad leave in. But I'll get somewhere somehow.

Thanks.

[Luka]

ooooh. Tampa rocks. but only because I live here too ;-)

[Alpha Female]

heavy.

[Iconoclast]

Glad you're back, Dan.....Wondered what happened to you.

A long time ago I had a summer job in the Miami area working for USDA in the pet bird quarantine stations. It was really interesting. The disease du jour was exotic Newcastle; today it's avian influenza.....same story, different disease. Lotsa stories to tell....

OBTW, did you hear anything from Bardo?

[Iconoclast]

Your AG story does not divulge whether AG knows YOUR name! Maybe you're in a Catch22 situation.

[Adontai]

Hey Dan! Thank you so much for this post it really helps today. I was thinking that it wasn'tpossible to be happy without more things and boyfriends. Anyway welcome to Tampa. I work in Tampa and Live in Lakeland.

I hope you enjoy your job and your time in Tampa.

A~

[Glenn C]

Hi:

I am a bit confused. I thought you had a new job with Queertyy.com as an editor. Is that not considered a career? Dam the publishing world!

I still think that you should stick with acting and TV hosting. Logo sure needs new on air personalities. You are too good to end up working with birds.

[Marc]

Incredibly insightful, Dan. Color me impressed! Good luck with all your new directions. I'm working on mine as well!

[misscrankypants]

How very Fight Club of you.

Good luck wth the birds, they are such wonderful creatures!

[Jen]

Missed ya Dan! I checked everyday to see if you were back.
I just need to say that I have the BIGGEST fear of birds! Seriously! My sister had a little bird, who cares what kind it was, and to torment me, she would let it out! I would scream and cry and RUN! I just don't like any sort of bird.
We were at Disney, and one of the shows was about large birds, eagles and such. Would be cool to look at, but when they told them if they had small dogs that they needed to hold on to them, I got SCARED. Sure enough they let some birds fly through the audience, I screamed!! I didn't break out in a full cry, but tears were streaming down my face. They actually apologized.
Stupid huh!! More power to ya if you love birds!

[David]

Wow. That was an awful lot of stuff. I may have to take your advice, the job is not working for me.

[blackbird]

These are very wise words today.
I feel proud of you when I read them and hope that my boys will have these same insights when they need them.

I'm hugging you.

[Dean]

Birds, huh? You could be the next Joan Embry... now that would rock.

[that.girl]

Oh, wow! Dan, I love you!!! This post was right on time and what I needed to hear at this exact momement.

[Dan]

Behave yourself tomorrow (giggle).