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ARTICLES I WROTE

My Work Stuff

  • ARTICLE: HX
    my interview with liza minnelli. yes, liza minnelli. to read the story: click on this link; log into the site; then come back and click on this link again, and you'll be brought to the right page.
  • ARTICLE: NEW YORK POST
    "cheerleader nation" on lifetime. yes, i watched it and i'm proud of that.
  • ARTICLE: NEW YORK POST
    i wrote about "showdog moms and dads" on bravo. i love this article.
  • ARTICLE: NY POST
    another interview with liza minnelli. i love liza minnelli.
  • COLUMN: PLANET OUT
    trip diary of spring break in the bahamas.
  • DAN RENZI
    in the height of my obsession with "america's next top model," a write-up about my blog in gawker. thanks, choire.
  • DAN RENZI
    for public speaking stuff.
  • DAN RENZI
    investigative report on the 'gay millionaire's club' dating service. it's a fun read.
  • DAN RENZI
    my fundraising page for the leukemia society.
  • DAN RENZI
    i got stuck in st. louis for a week, and had a good time. read it here.
  • DAN RENZI
    sex advice from '90's icons. including me! featured in nerve.com.
  • DAN RENZI
    on "hunk du jour." ha, funny.
  • DAN RENZI
    i raise money for the children. i am so high society.
  • DAN RENZI
    mtv page from the inferno 2.
  • DAN RENZI MIAMI NEW TIMES
    theater review of the "shakespeare festival" in miami...and shakespeare's up in heaven, extremely unhappy about how things turnedo out with this one.
  • DAN RENZI MIAMI NEW TIMES
    brief on lance bass. which has nothing to do with lance bass' briefs. get your mind out of the gutter.
  • DAN RENZI MTV
    article about fashion week.
  • DAN RENZI REAL WORLD
    column on the cultural influence of realty-tv, published in the advocate.
  • DAN RENZI REAL WORLD
    the "reality tv secrets" dvd. want to be on a reality-tv show? buy this instructional dvd. it's a great birthday/holiday/no-reason-whatsoever gift.
  • DAN RENZI REAL WORLD
    i took a trip with student city to the bahamas. whee.
  • DANIEL RENZI
    story in a college paper about an HIV lecture I gave, with reviews from the students.
  • DANIEL RENZI
    we love queerty and queerty loves me! whee!
  • DANIEL RENZI
    story on the a wrinkle in time tv-movie debut...remember that book from elementary school?
  • DANIEL RENZI
    review of the L word on showtime, featuring jennifer beals. whom I love, by the way.
  • DANIEL RENZI
    now that i finally wrote this, i can die a happy man.
  • DANIEL RENZI
    fran came out with a new tv show! read about it here.
  • INTERVIEW
    article about a program I did on HIV prevention.
  • INTERVIEW: DALLAS VOICE
    this reporter followed me around one night. he was nice. we had fun.
  • INTERVIEW: HIV LECTURE
    story in marist college's newspaper about my hiv lecture.
  • LINKEDIN PROFILE - DAN RENZI
    what is linkedin anyway?...

DVDs

  • REVIEW: COMING OUT PARTY
    coming out party finally hits australia. although they didn't think i am that funny. this, from the country whose biggest comedic achievement is crocodile dundee. screw them!
  • HOOKING UP...
    "hooking up in the real world," hosted by coral and myself. it ended up pretty good.
  • COMING OUT PARTY
    "coming out" stories told by comedians and writers. not a comedy show, per se, but is often funny.

The Wish List

  • Amazon.com
    nothing on it right now. i bought all the stuff i wanted.

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« Dear Tom Cruise | Main | »

AG

(previous AG post here)

You have one new message
"Hey man, it's me, just seeing what you're up to. Gimme a call back. Lata."

~~~

(a few days later...)
You have one new message
"Hey it's me, where you at bro? You gonna be home tonight? Call me."

~~~

(the next day...)
(calls again, doesn't leave a message.)

~~~

(the day after that...)
(calls again, doesn't leave a message.)

~~~

(a few days later...)
(calls again.)
(alright, fine, might as well talk to him.)

Hello?

"Hey."

Hi.

"Where you been?"

I've been here.

"I called you a couple of times."

Really?

"Yeah, why didn't you call me back?"

Oh, sorry.

"What's wrong?"

Nothing.

"Really?"

Why?

"Because all of the sudden you're not calling me back."

No reason.

"Oh."

(pause)

"Are you sure?"

Totally.

"Okay."

(pause)

"I think you're lying."

I'm not.

"You're a liar."

I am not!

"You are."

Like you have any room to talk.

"I'm not a liar."

I think your girlfriend would disagree.

(pause)

"What?"

Nothing.

"So that's what this is about."

What is what about?

"I don't have a girlfriend."

(pause)

Really?

"No."

What happened to her?

"I don't call her anymore."

Ah.

"She was just some girl, we went out a few times, that was it."

Okay.

"Why, you jealous?"

Why, do you want me to be?

(pause)

"You can be whatever you want."

I know.

"And I don't know why I'm explaining myself to you anyway."

(pause)

Where are you?

"In my car."

Going where?

"To your house, but now I'm turning around."

(stomach drops)

Why?

"Because you're pissed and I don't need the drama."

I'm not pissed.

"Then I'm pissed."

About what?

"That you were blowing me off."

I wasn't.

"Yeah you were."

(I was.)

(pause)

I wasn't blowing you off, I just don't do the whole "I've got a girlfriend" thing.

"Neither do I."

(I could say something here, but I'll drop it.)

Okay.

"Okay."

(pause)

"Fuck."

What?

"I almost ran over somebody."

How?

"Turning back around again to come over to your place."

Oh really?

"Yeah."

I'm busy.

"See? You're a liar."

How long until you get here?

"Ten minutes."


Comments

best entry yet. really did make me laugh out loud.

The whole point of fuck buddies is that they aren't supposed to be whiney bitches. That's what boyfriends are for.

That makes my head hurt. Why not just be clear on the boundaries of the relationship are and then stick to them?

Oh, wait...I forgot, we're gay men. nevermind, lol

i love the anticipation going on during the whole conversation. like you know your going to get some, or are you?

I think I much prefer reading about this than living it myself. Despite the obvious benefits.

I love the fact that you're having a lover's spat with him and you still don't know his name. Did he never shower at your place? I would have been searching his wallet for ID. Or making my roommate introduce himself, and say "and your name is...?"

UGH!! i love the AG stories.. i always them to continue on!!

haha

Please please post his name! So how will this work now since you've moved to Florida? Think he'll still call?

Yeah, definitely sounds like this one crossed the line from fuck buddy to major drama. Those are the ones to stay away from.

Oh! The Life of a Gay Man!!! I LOVE IT!!!

Now that I'm single, I WANT AN AG!!!

...of course that'll never happen, because I always pick "the jerks"!

That's it!!! I'm moving to a college town!!!

AG sounds like Trouble with a capital T. But gather ye rosebuds while ye may...

I love you. If i were a gay guy (im not) and i live where ever you live (i probably dont) i would totally do you. Or be your best friend.

did you ever figure out his name?

i still don't trust him.

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