I really need a secretary.
Or an intern. YES. I need an intern to help write stuff. You should see my email inbox. I just sit and watch the number click up, up, up with all these things I'm supposed to write about for Queerty. Gay movies, gay marriage, free underwear, I'm exhausted. This one's oppressed, that one's upset, Madonna is doing this or that. So-and-so wants a link, but their grammar is third grade, so no. I can't cover everything I need to do. Too much to write about.
Our other editor is in Canada, and he seems to be a well-organized fellow. I don't know how he does it. Maybe Canadians are an orderly bunch.
That's all. I'm just worn out today. Already.