Mom

When I told my parents I applied to be on The Real World they were less than pleased. Actually, my father had already disowned me earlier that year, so he wasn't speaking to me anyway; he disowns me at least once a year for a variety of indiscriminate reasons. But my mother worried that my presence on the show would cause my younger brother stress during his freshman year of high school. The slightest thing that marks you as "different" tends to draw ire and jealousy of your classmates--and having your brother be "the gay guy" on The Real World would certainly exacerbate the conflict. You know, kids-can-be-so-cruel and all that.

The producer of the show called me at 7:04 AM on a Monday, just a few hours before I was to start the first day of my final semester as a student at Rutgers. He said one short sentence: "Pack your bags." I said "Okay." He asked if I had any questions, I said no. And it was done. So I hung up, and dialed my parents' number right away, steeling my nerves to break the devastating news: with only one semester left, I was dropping out of college. I was basically running off to join the circus, to chase this dream of fabulousness and fame. And my mother had already told me she didn't want me to go on the show; dropping out of college was going to be the nail in the coffin.

Apparently, at some point, she figured out that if I was on the show...I could come home for a visit. And I'd bring the cameras with me.

Needless to say, the call didn't go the way I had planned.

(ring!)

"Hello?"

Mom?

"Hi honey."

The producers of the show just called.

"And?"

I'm on the show. I leave in eleven days.

"Oh my God, I'm going to be on TV."

So I have to go to the Dean's office today and drop out of school.

"Maybe they'll see me and want to give me my own show! I can do a cooking show. I'll cook spaghetti."

I'm not sure when I'm going to go back, but I promise I'll finish my degree.

"But you're not allowed to bring those cameras here until I get new carpeting for the living room."

So tell Dad not to be mad, I promise I'll go back.

"I suppose if they come here, your father will have to be on the show too."

Wait. What?

"I just don't want him messing up my episode. He has no sense of humor."

Your episode?

"And I have to figure out how to lose 15 pounds."

Hey Mom, by the way, I was the one actually cast on the show.

"Oh, congratulations honey."

My brother would just have to deal.

Comments

[Sarah]

It's pretty amazing how somethings just fly by people. Cute story, sounds like a cute family.

[Jen]

I am so glad the producers chose you! I am glad all of America has gotten to know you! I have enjoyed watching you on tv, I love reading your blog! I am glad we all got to know Dan Renzi! :) Very cool story!

[Liz]

I remember your family on the show and they seemed like a typical family, very nice!

I wish kids going into HS would be taught that HS doesnt last. The misfits and the outcasts end up being the creative cool people in life and the popular kids get fat and bald. HS is SO over rated and I knew then (Circa 1981) that if these were going to be "the best years of my life" I was in trouble. BTW- I was targeted and mistreated by many in HS. Guess what? Now I'm one of the cool ones and there all divorced and rehabing it. Hehehe!

[Lynnster, yeah]

Like Jen, I'm so glad they cast you on the RW too. I can't believe it's been as long ago as it has, but then and ever since you have been so consistently fun and interesting to watch and read. I've mostly lost interest in the show (outgrew it finally I guess) but when I have caught Challenges or special RW/RR related features you have just been such fun when you've been a part of it, and I continue to enjoy your insights and humor here now years of reading your blog. The number one best moment of all time ever on MTV was your confessional commentary in Miami RE the infamous menage a trois bathroom scene. And there have been so many moments since on various shows that have been just wonderful - MTV should have hired you long ago to do running commentary on every show they have. (wink) Anyway, enough gushing, but thanks for sharing the look back into your RW history and glad you are still out there sometimes and especially glad you are here and writing every day, you're terrific, Dan. (PS Sounds like MTV missed the boat on getting in on the reality family shows early on - they coulda had the Renzis instead of the Osbournes!!!)

Happy Valentine's Day!

[Gregg]

Dan thanks for this personal story - its fascinating. I'd love to hear more. Are you working on a Book deal? I'd buy it.

[Glenn C]

Dan:

I forgot that you went to Rutgers. I assume you were at Rutgers College in New Bruinswick. I was there in mid 80s to the early 90s. But I guess you attended after I had left. Did you ever go to the Den, this gay bar near campus? Where did you eventually end up graduating?

On the show "Style Me" they take the cast to Rutgers and make them give sorority girls makeovers. This one contestant bashes NJ and Rutgers, "They take us to this college in NJ" . I wanted to bitch slap her. It's NOT just any college but one of the best colleges in the country. She was this hick from the Midwest who probably thinks the University of Lexington is Ivy Leaugue so go figure!

[Debbie]

Well, I guess you had to get it from someone, obviously wasn't your Dad, had to be Mom. My Mom would be the same way. Family, you gotta love em. Sometimes.

[Lucinda]

Wait. Are you sure we don't share a mother? Because she sounds suspiciously like mine...

[Judith Ann]

It's funny that you should bring this up, Danny. The installation of the new hardwood floors on the main level began yesterday, with the upstairs carpeting following in two weeks. So roll out the cameras! This is the perfect time for us to do a Mother and Son cooking show. Well, except for the 15 pounds...I guess I'll need more time after all.

Happy Valentine's Day to you, my precious Son. I love you and miss you lots!XOXOXO

[Jonathan Chang ~ Socialite Extraordinaire]

OMG. Both you and your mom are hilarious. Who woulda thunk? I think that you and Judith Ann SHOULD do a cooking show. Maybe begin with a cookoff against Paula Deen and her sons!

[Tiffany]

and I thought that you were from a nice, normal family.

[Marie]

Dan, I always feel like a proud Mama because I've watched you grow and evolve from your time on RW. The Miami season kinda sucked. But you were definitely the brightest thing on that show, so good for you. I think RW has now crossed over to the dark side. Well, basically I think it is a piece of shit. It's too bad they couldn't stay with the original concept and let life create the drama as opposed to drunkeness and manipulated sexual encounters. Anyway, I think you have a unique voice, and we all know you're extremely funny. Congrats to you and all the best, always.

[Tate Tullier]

I don't know if you were in Houston (or if you even live there?) but I think I walked right past you at the Galleria. I was in town visiting friends for the weekend (I live in Louisiana). Hit me up and let me know if DID see the right person! You were with another guy, tall also.

[Tate Tullier]

I don't know if you were in Houston (or if you even live there?) but I think I walked right past you at the Galleria. I was in town visiting friends for the weekend (I live in Louisiana). Hit me up and let me know if DID see the right person! You were with another guy, tall also.

[DannyK]

I missed the part where you go back to Rutgers to get your degree. Tell me you have, or are gonna soon, because THAT is much more important than anything else now. Anything, believe it.

[Kathleen]

You went to Rutgers?

[Michael]

I miss you on TV, Dan.