Conversation with Grandma

"Danny, I never hear from you anymore."

I called you last week. But you didn't call me back.

"I never know where to call you."

I've had the same phone number for five years.

"But you move around so much!"

I have a cell phone.

"Oh, I don't have a cell phone."

You don't need a cell phone to call my cell phone. It works just like a regular phone.

"Then why do you have a cell phone?"

Because I move around so much.

"I know. You should settle down, I never know where to call you."

Comments

[Stefanie]

I get the same thing... can you imagine when you are that old?

[Stefanie]

Ha ha, I'm totally first... that's awesome!

[RED]

i can't help but laugh, but that's so sad...

[Sean fromt St. Louis]

Dear Dan, just curious. What do you think of perezhilton.com? Is it legitimate?

[Kel]

Just tell her to email you. My 89 year old grandmother loves her email. (Her homepage is the vatican website.)

[Kel]

Just tell her to email you. My 89 year old grandmother loves her email. (Her homepage is the vatican website.)

[Rich]

Dear Dan, can you recommend me a good car insurance company? Also, what brand of butter do you use?

[Dan]

My grandmother still made 'person to person' long distance calls until she died in 1999. If you don't know what these calls are, they originated in the 1940s when operators still connectd every call - they would call a location and not start charging until that person got on the line...

[Amanda]

It's so difficult for some older people to grasp modern technology.

[Coral]

Reminds me of the conversations with my grandma:

me - "Hi grandma, how are you?
gramma - "WHAT?!?!"
me - "...I said HI, HOW ARE YOU"
gramma - "WHAT DID YOU SAY HONEY?"
me - "HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?"
gramma - "NO, I'M NOT FALLING DOWN, I'm SITTING DOWN, HOW ARE YOU?"
me - "I'm good gramma"
gramma - "WHAT?"

Imagine that for half an hour per person...for 6 people...definitely interesting...;)

I love my titus...

[Erica]

You all are making me miss all 4 of my grandparents... at least she knows your name still.

When my granddad was in the home and couldn't hear the upper tones very well, so I stumbled upon the secret. I would lower my voice, talk like a baritone guy as much as possible, and he could hear me. I got some really strange looks from the nursing assistants who would walk by, but it put a smile on Gramps' face, so it was worth the sore throat.

Kel, I'm very impressed with your grandmother. My granddad used to make me type out the emails he dictated (his email was actually through my computer and my account). She actually does her own, and uses websites! (Although the current pope scares the crap out of me)

[Stefanie]

Dear Dan,

You seem like the sort of guy to be concerned about dental hygiene. What sort of toothbrush do you use? And do you brush your teeth in the shower or in the sink?

Interested people would like to know.

[Patrick]

oh, you really should get a cell phone

[Kel]

Erica - My Grandmother's emails are usually timed at like 3 and 4 in the morning, I'm wondering if she's looking up porn and the Vatican website is a cover.

Stefanie - Dan uses Sprakle-Bright toothpaste, the same kind Star Jones uses. It has diamond dust mixed in it and you can get it at Saks, Neimen's and Bergdorfs.

[jjd]

can we call you danny too? it sounds so cute, like monkeys hugging puppies.

[David]

Isn't circular logic awesome!

Your grandma sounds very sweet.

[erik]

ummm, it's 1:38 PM on Thursday, January 12th. I missed Project Runway last night, and I keep hitting refresh on your site because I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!

[blackbird]

our Grammy calls and says - Is K there? He called me.
and I say - No Grammy, K is in Africa, on a business trip...are you sure he called you?
and she says - Well, I heard his voice on my answering machine.
and I say - That's because he made the tape for you Grammy!

[kel]

I LOVE monkeys hugging puppies.

Erik go to Television without pity for a full recap.

[Stefanie]

I appreciate the response about the toothpaste, that is interesting. But I want to know what kind of toothBRUSH he uses. Dental hygiene is important, and good looking people respect dental hygiene. It's proven..

[Sarah]

Too cute!

[Erica]

Kel,

My great auntie used to stay up until all hours of the AM, watching political news shows (staunch old-school Democrat) b/c she just "had to stick around to see how this one turns out" (Bush/Clinton election)

If your Grandma is looking at porn, power to her!!! I attended the same college as my grandparents - when they came up with my folks for parents' weekend, my granddad actually asked my grandma if she wanted to go make out in their old spot! My dad kinda blushed too :)

[Jane Jane]

Yeah... this made me miss my grandparents too. But I do have a funny story with one of them.

My grandmother (mom's side) came to visit us from the Philippines and I took her to lunch at the Olive Garden. There was a heavy set family that sat next to us and all of the sudden she says (in a really loud voice b/c she doesn't know how to be subtle), "OH MY THOSE PEOPLE ARE BIG!!"

I just quietly hushed her because it would be rude to laugh.

But now, everytime I think of her (she died last year), I think of that story.

[Jalal]

You get off light.

I get long lectures on how I should sleep at 8 and get up at 6 to keep healthy and why I dont eat Yogurt and Vile-Tree-Products to keep in a healthy state.

Brrrrrrr.

[The Aitch]

aww, Grandma is a sweetie