Conversation with Grandma
"Danny, I never hear from you anymore."
I called you last week. But you didn't call me back.
"I never know where to call you."
I've had the same phone number for five years.
"But you move around so much!"
I have a cell phone.
"Oh, I don't have a cell phone."
You don't need a cell phone to call my cell phone. It works just like a regular phone.
"Then why do you have a cell phone?"
Because I move around so much.
"I know. You should settle down, I never know where to call you."


I get the same thing... can you imagine when you are that old?
Posted by:Stefanie | January 11, 2006 at 10:10 AM
Ha ha, I'm totally first... that's awesome!
Posted by:Stefanie | January 11, 2006 at 10:10 AM
i can't help but laugh, but that's so sad...
Posted by:RED | January 11, 2006 at 10:24 AM
Dear Dan, just curious. What do you think of perezhilton.com? Is it legitimate?
Posted by:Sean fromt St. Louis | January 11, 2006 at 11:19 AM
Just tell her to email you. My 89 year old grandmother loves her email. (Her homepage is the vatican website.)
Posted by:Kel | January 11, 2006 at 11:57 AM
Just tell her to email you. My 89 year old grandmother loves her email. (Her homepage is the vatican website.)
Posted by:Kel | January 11, 2006 at 11:57 AM
Dear Dan, can you recommend me a good car insurance company? Also, what brand of butter do you use?
Posted by:Rich | January 11, 2006 at 01:17 PM
My grandmother still made 'person to person' long distance calls until she died in 1999. If you don't know what these calls are, they originated in the 1940s when operators still connectd every call - they would call a location and not start charging until that person got on the line...
Posted by:Dan | January 11, 2006 at 02:07 PM
It's so difficult for some older people to grasp modern technology.
Posted by:Amanda | January 11, 2006 at 03:35 PM
Reminds me of the conversations with my grandma:
me - "Hi grandma, how are you?
gramma - "WHAT?!?!"
me - "...I said HI, HOW ARE YOU"
gramma - "WHAT DID YOU SAY HONEY?"
me - "HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?"
gramma - "NO, I'M NOT FALLING DOWN, I'm SITTING DOWN, HOW ARE YOU?"
me - "I'm good gramma"
gramma - "WHAT?"
Imagine that for half an hour per person...for 6 people...definitely interesting...;)
I love my titus...
Posted by:Coral | January 11, 2006 at 06:47 PM
You all are making me miss all 4 of my grandparents... at least she knows your name still.
When my granddad was in the home and couldn't hear the upper tones very well, so I stumbled upon the secret. I would lower my voice, talk like a baritone guy as much as possible, and he could hear me. I got some really strange looks from the nursing assistants who would walk by, but it put a smile on Gramps' face, so it was worth the sore throat.
Kel, I'm very impressed with your grandmother. My granddad used to make me type out the emails he dictated (his email was actually through my computer and my account). She actually does her own, and uses websites! (Although the current pope scares the crap out of me)
Posted by:Erica | January 11, 2006 at 07:02 PM
Dear Dan,
You seem like the sort of guy to be concerned about dental hygiene. What sort of toothbrush do you use? And do you brush your teeth in the shower or in the sink?
Interested people would like to know.
Posted by:Stefanie | January 11, 2006 at 08:43 PM
oh, you really should get a cell phone
Posted by:Patrick | January 12, 2006 at 03:12 AM
Erica - My Grandmother's emails are usually timed at like 3 and 4 in the morning, I'm wondering if she's looking up porn and the Vatican website is a cover.
Stefanie - Dan uses Sprakle-Bright toothpaste, the same kind Star Jones uses. It has diamond dust mixed in it and you can get it at Saks, Neimen's and Bergdorfs.
Posted by:Kel | January 12, 2006 at 08:20 AM
can we call you danny too? it sounds so cute, like monkeys hugging puppies.
Posted by:jjd | January 12, 2006 at 09:07 AM
Isn't circular logic awesome!
Your grandma sounds very sweet.
Posted by:David | January 12, 2006 at 09:19 AM
ummm, it's 1:38 PM on Thursday, January 12th. I missed Project Runway last night, and I keep hitting refresh on your site because I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!
Posted by:erik | January 12, 2006 at 10:36 AM
our Grammy calls and says - Is K there? He called me.
and I say - No Grammy, K is in Africa, on a business trip...are you sure he called you?
and she says - Well, I heard his voice on my answering machine.
and I say - That's because he made the tape for you Grammy!
Posted by:blackbird | January 12, 2006 at 10:46 AM
I LOVE monkeys hugging puppies.
Erik go to Television without pity for a full recap.
Posted by:kel | January 12, 2006 at 11:39 AM
I appreciate the response about the toothpaste, that is interesting. But I want to know what kind of toothBRUSH he uses. Dental hygiene is important, and good looking people respect dental hygiene. It's proven..
Posted by:Stefanie | January 12, 2006 at 03:36 PM
Too cute!
Posted by:Sarah | January 12, 2006 at 08:28 PM
Kel,
My great auntie used to stay up until all hours of the AM, watching political news shows (staunch old-school Democrat) b/c she just "had to stick around to see how this one turns out" (Bush/Clinton election)
If your Grandma is looking at porn, power to her!!! I attended the same college as my grandparents - when they came up with my folks for parents' weekend, my granddad actually asked my grandma if she wanted to go make out in their old spot! My dad kinda blushed too :)
Posted by:Erica | January 12, 2006 at 08:43 PM
Yeah... this made me miss my grandparents too. But I do have a funny story with one of them.
My grandmother (mom's side) came to visit us from the Philippines and I took her to lunch at the Olive Garden. There was a heavy set family that sat next to us and all of the sudden she says (in a really loud voice b/c she doesn't know how to be subtle), "OH MY THOSE PEOPLE ARE BIG!!"
I just quietly hushed her because it would be rude to laugh.
But now, everytime I think of her (she died last year), I think of that story.
Posted by:Jane Jane | January 13, 2006 at 06:25 AM
You get off light.
I get long lectures on how I should sleep at 8 and get up at 6 to keep healthy and why I dont eat Yogurt and Vile-Tree-Products to keep in a healthy state.
Brrrrrrr.
Posted by:Jalal | January 13, 2006 at 11:03 AM
aww, Grandma is a sweetie
Posted by:The Aitch | January 16, 2006 at 12:38 PM