DEAR DAN:

I WANT TO SEE A 'GAY VS STRAIGHT' CHALLENGE. DO YOU THINK IT WILL EVER HAPPEN?

We have all pleaded for this show to happen. Ruthie, Danny, Genesis, Shane, Aneesa, Rachel, myself...all the gay Real World/Road Rules have begged the producers to do this show. And many, many of our heterosexual counterparts from the shows have stepped up to volunteer their services for the game as well, and fight for the championship of straightkind. Although I honestly think our side would pull it together and win.

Some executives fear it would be considered offensive; no one would ever have a 'Black vs White' Challenge, for instance. But to those people, I say this: Lighten up! Put the political-correctness away! I think the show would be hysterical. And it would also be pretty compelling...a lot of the guys from these shows really struggle with the fact that they can sometimes be beat by females--never mind gay men. (Gasp!)

We'll see if MTV ever convinces advertisers to sponsor a show like this...maybe someday. They have occasional episodes of gay dating shows, so hopefully it won't be too far in the future.

DEAR DAN:

I HOOKED UP WITH A GUY, AND IT WAS REALLY GREAT--BUT THEN THE NEXT MORNING OVER BREAKFAST, HE STARTED TELLING ME STORIES ABOUT HIS BOYFRIEND! HE SEEMS REALLY HAPPY WITH HIS BOYFRIEND. I LIKE THIS GUY--DO YOU THINK HE'LL FALL FOR ME, AND MAYBE I HAVE A CHANCE?

Oh dear.

Sweetie, no. You do not have a chance. Do not get naked with this man again.

First of all, is he "cheating?" Or is he in one of those "open relationships" that some people seem to enjoy? If he's cheating, well...that's a tough call, there are lots of variables you would need to consider. So we'll leave that for now.

But I am a hard-core traditionalist, I believe in "true love," the happily-ever-after, the whole thing. I know too many situations where open relationships are just a way for one person in a relationship to fuck around, without having to go out there in the world being "single" again; and the other just goes along with it because s/he doesn't want to lose this person that s/he really loves. I think it's so, so sad.

Don't get me wrong, open relationships work for some people. I know lots of people who think sex only has meaning if you want it to, so who you fuck has nothing to do with who you love. And that works for them. Rock on. But judging from this letter, you want this guy all to yourself. If you like this guy, there's nothing casual about the sex anymore. You can't turn your emotions off like they have a switch. So continuing to sleep with this guy and not get emotionally attached would be like telling an overweight person to eat chocolate and not gain more weight. You can't fight the laws of nature.

So go find a fuck-buddy that you truly don't want to have a relationship with, if you must. Or better yet, take a big breath and brave it on your own for a while. Hopefully someday the man of your dreams will find you. Remember, you deserve nothing but the best. We all do. Don't wait for a knight in shining armor to ride up on a white horse, or anything delusional like that; figure out that one thing that makes you happy. And then never, ever settle for anything less. Good luck, sweetie.

Comments

[Kyle]

that wud be the COOLEST and HOTTEST challenge EVER!!!!
of course our side wud win i mean, its a givin, the str8 side wud be argueing and trying to flex off for the camera 24/7.......GO GAY TEAM!

[Benjerman]

Yeah i agree with kyle the gay team would kick ass cause they would all be getting along except for Aneesa and rachel they seem like they don't like each other ! oh well
I have a question there is this guy ive been dating for a while and he want to take it further like he want to get a commitment ceremony i'm like noo not yet and he says he is gonna dump me if we don't get one what should i do ?

[taylor]

The fags and dykes would def win.. the straights would be too busy being intimidated by the greatness of the gay team!

[Curious in California]

Dear Dan,

Does Landon still make you giggle?

Just wondering.

Peace out,
Karen

[Brooke]

I never thought of a Gay vs Straight but I think it would be a really good idea instead of having battle of the seasons and battle of the sexes over and over. I don't see whats so wrong about it. I wouldn't consider it to be even close to being like a Black vs White challenge. BMP should really consider it.

[Benjerman]

What about karamo would he be on the str8 or gay side ?

[Mimi]

I hope you guys get that idea patented or something. I sent BMP my idea for a challenge(Oldies vs. Newbies) sometime last year and guess what I hear the next challenge is gonna be.

Uh-huh.

Yep. That's it.

[Steve]

Dan, Regarding the gay vs straight challenge, how about pitching it to the MTV owned new gay network LOGO? I think it would be a great promotional thing for them to get eyes to their network (both gay and straight). It would no doubt get them tons of publicity - and thats what a new network wants...Theyd get coverage not only in the gay press but a straight press...and I think as long as it was handled correctly, it wouldnt be offensive....Look at what BRAVO has done or other reality shows, and I think the gay cast members on MTV's Real World & Road Rules run the gamut where they are not one stereotype but show the true rainbow colors of the gay community. Or they could decide to air it during Gay Pride Month or something like that.

MTV already owns the concept --- and it would be a way to take MTV NETWORK itself off the hot seat if MTV would be a bit worried about it... Produce it for LOGO - and if its a success they could reprogram/multipurpose it and then show it on MTV if it didnt prove too controversial for advertisers.

But I think it would be a great idea...and it would help continue breaking stereotypes or misperceptions that people have had about gay people and their strengths - just like the gay couples on AMAZING RACE have done so well.

I THINK ITS GREAT and I think if LOGO execs dont take it , theyre stupid. I dont know what your contracts limit you too - but otherwise Id propose an idea of doign something with the gay cast members on one of the other 2 major gay networks out there - I think theyd die for it - although Im pretty sure whatever contracts youve signed limit you in that regard but maybe if aproducer comes up with a concept and MTV gets first look and declines it, then you could approach another network with it.

[Sam]

MTV may be concerned about diversity and inclusion. There may be members whose sexuality is still yet undetermined or they are concerned about being identified as straight or gay. Can those of potentially ambiguous sexual identity or orientation participate on either team? Will the teams have to be concious of those who may stray? Someone has to think of all the politically correct stuff ...

[Lawrence]

Dear Dan,
Why are you so cool? You are so great! Its really weird that you mentioned a gvs challenge because I was just thinking that... like a day ago. OMQ you have to tell me about the beef with tina lol... well bye

[Liz]

Dan, all I know is you put those women on the Inferno in their place like none of the straight guys have. Rock on!

[Jenn]

a gay vs. straight challenge? BRILLIANT!! :o)

[Josh]

Your "Dear Dan" letter response seems so "Mrs. Doubtfire" like. And when did MTV start worrying about appearances? If that were true, they would play more videos and cut back on moron television. Bye bye Dear.

[Lynnster]

Funny time for MTV to suddenly worrying about "offending" anyone. How stupid. It's not like anyone who has followed RW/RR doesn't know who's gay and who's not, not to mention anyone who's followed MTV period... that's just a dumb excuse, offending indeed. I suspect that there probably has been no Challenge with particularly impressive ratings since the first one, and I think a Gay vs. Straight challenge would probably far surpass all the others in ratings and popularity. Bet you money.

Listen to your (watching since RW1 and have almost but not quite outgrown it) public, MTV, and since when did you guys worry about offending people anyway? "Beavis & Butt-head" and "Jackass" (don't get me wrong, love 'em both) and countless other examples of "inoffensive" (?) programming indeed...pfttttttttt.

I'm so sick of MTV I could puke and if it wasn't for the RW/RR challenge & specials (I don't even watch the shows anymore) I'd not watch it at all.

[inky]

Ruthie is a lesbian?

[inky]

my 2nd question is.... What is Veronica's job in real life? How can we find out... she is such a horrible TV persona.... I am curious if she is "acting" on TV or if that is really how she is........

[Amyco]

Hey Dan,
I love the gay vs. straight concept for a challenge... but what then would Rachel do without Veronica on her team? I want to KILL those girls, Good for you for standing up to them... no one else will.
I have another idea for a challenge...
A Half hour weekly show where two cast members who hate each other get in a ring and just beat the crap out of each other. Melissa vs. Julie; Coral vs. Trishelle; Beth vs. Veronica ; me vs. Tina-
Run it by your peeps.

Keep on Rockin' Dan-
Amy

[Amyco]

Hey Dan,
I love the gay vs. straight concept for a challenge... but what then would Rachel do without Veronica on her team? I want to KILL those girls, Good for you for standing up to them... no one else will.
I have another idea for a challenge...
A Half hour weekly show where two cast members who hate each other get in a ring and just beat the crap out of each other. Melissa vs. Julie; Coral vs. Trishelle; Beth vs. Veronica ; me vs. Tina-
Run it by your peeps.

Keep on Rockin' Dan-
Amy

[Bon]

OMG, while Amy's suggestion truly made me *snork* (snort-laugh), I think your plan for a gay vs. straight challenge is brilliant and will, eventually happen. I mean, why not! Pitch it to the new network. Kick some ass! I'm so TiVoing it, wherever it may be!

[opgirl]

Seriously, are Rachel and Veronica a couple or what? Clearly they love each other, but that skanky V seems to prefer cock, despite Rachels' devotion. Tell MTV I want to witness their commitment ceremony and or gay marriage when it inevitably occurs.That is a potential ratings bonanza.

[Ethan]

So how can we the loyal viewers let them know "en masse" we want this show??

[Floyd Hemderson III]

Hello Daniel,
I'm a big fan of yours, especially since Battle of the Sexes with you and Shane of course..you are my favorites..Since I'm a graduating senior and I was wondering if what would happen if this really cute guy asks me out or whatever and I really like this guy a lot, but then somehow you think something goes wrong in the relationship between you and your boyfriend and you feel like that you're being used.how do you keep that from happening?

[ghj]

doing drugz iz fun!!!!

[Floyd Henderson III]

No way!

[Star]

I like the Gay v.s. Straight idea but I think the gay's would lose by a lot! Gay people are far more dramatic so a game like this would have sum major in-house backstabbing. On the flipside to that, when everyones getting along they will be having a shitload of fun (what an odd saying).

Honestly gay can be VERY ciniving and manipulative. More than teenage girls LMFAO! It stems from years of being a closet case and trying to hide your true self. Don't get me wrong I'm still a closecase LOL. I think Gays would lose but I still like the idea. It would be more entertaining than any challenge in the past.

PS I love Ruthy! Since she stopped drinking shes one of the coolest chicks on the shows.

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BTW, dan that was sum GREAT advice to the guy thats sleeping with a "taken" man.