Lisa Whelchel Has Lost Her Mind
Lisa Whelchel, the smiling, Stepford-ish purveyor of parental perfectionism, has written a book all about how to punish kids.
In one chapter, she explains how to put hot sauce on your kid's tongue to punish him/her for lying.
Perhaps she is just sadistic. Perhaps she has gone completely nuts after decades of people asking her if she's still friends with Tootie. First Martha gets sentenced to jail, and now Lisa Whelchel is torturing her kids with tabasco sauce. I need to leave my TV off for a little while to let all this pass. That, and for (the seemingly God-awful)Life & Style to take a quick nose-dive so Kimora Lee Simmons can go back to judging America's Next Top Model, where she belongs.
Dear Dan:
There are lots of creative places to use hot sauce and I suggest "Blair" use them on herself. Talk about the Blair Witch Project!
Posted by: ouchthathurtsalot | August 24, 2004 at 11:37 AM
My mom used tabasco sauce to get my brother to stop sucking his thumb. Now, he still sucks his thumb but he doesn't like ketchup. Talk about irony.
Posted by: Mimi | August 24, 2004 at 11:51 AM
Bea Arthur has also lost her mind...
Golden Girl Causes Terrorist Scare in Boston
Golden Girls star Bea Arthur sparked a security scare at Boston's Logan International Airport earlier this week when she tried to board a flight with a pocketknife in her handbag. The actress, 81, was about to board a Cape Air flight when a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agent discovered the offensive article in her belongings, which is strictly forbidden on airplanes since the September 11th attacks. A fellow passenger says, "She started yelling that it wasn't hers and said 'The terrorists put it there'. She kept yelling about the 'terrorists, the terrorists, the terrorists'." After the knife was confiscated by TSA officials, the funnywoman pulled out a key ring from her bag and told the agent it belonged to the "terrorists", before throwing it at them. As she boarded the plane, the Emmy-winning star told the TSA employees, "We're all doomed." A spokeswoman for Cape Air says, "Miss Arthur was cracking jokes and was a real character."
Posted by: sarah | August 25, 2004 at 11:33 AM
dan:
i work on america's next top model. please do not wish that woman on us again. she s-u-c-k-s.
Posted by: joe | August 25, 2004 at 02:33 PM
Check out this jewel: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/67/story_6770_1.html
Posted by: brittney | August 25, 2004 at 11:22 PM
Ok, I would have peed in my pants if I saw Bea Arthur throwing her keys at the TSA agents saying the terrorists gave them to her. Pure comedy. God bless that big donkey lesbian!
Posted by: charlie | August 29, 2004 at 10:28 AM
In regards to the "Golden Girl Causes Terrorist Scare" I must say...hilarious!! I hadn't heard anything about it till now. I love that show, ok I admit it! Wish I was there to have seen this happen. Bet those useless agents peed their pants.Oh, BTW Brittney, about that comment about Bea, TOO FUNNY! I think she would even crack up actually...
Posted by: Kathy | September 01, 2004 at 12:31 PM
Oops, sorry, guess that was Charlie...
Posted by: Kathy | September 01, 2004 at 12:33 PM
Dan, just wanted to write and say how much i like your website, your sense of humor and the reality of your observations. Care to come to Miami and create some new experiences to write about ?? ;)
Posted by: christian van reesma | September 02, 2004 at 01:50 PM
I'm sorry, but Lisa Welchel went bat-shit CRAZY years ago. Does anyone remember that christian inspirational album she came out with when she found jesus? *(I assume between the sofa cushions... that's where I usually find things)
I knew all that aerosol hairspray would have an effect other than the ozone hole *(which I'm pretty sure is Lisa Welchel's fault too)
Posted by: M@ | September 05, 2004 at 03:21 PM
Hey, i heard this today ;-)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
Posted by: Jokes Page! | September 29, 2004 at 02:58 AM
Haha, I had just seen something on television about Lisa's use of hot sauce as a punishment tactic, and almost didn't believe it. I Googled it, and your page was the first result, and then I saw your picture and thought, "Oh my gosh, it's Dan!"
Sorry, I just thought it was a little funny. I'm certainly a fan of your antics on the RW/RR Challenges!
Posted by: Jade L'oren | June 24, 2005 at 10:35 PM