My In/Out List
IN: Kill Bill Volume 2
OUT: Making another Charlie's Angels movie
NEVER WAS: Barb Wire
FOREVER: Sigourney Weaver in Aliens
IN: Being friends with your ex
OUT: Stalking your ex
NEVER WAS: Living with your ex because you are “tied to each other financially”
FOREVER: Occasional ex-sex
IN: The man’s suit coat
OUT: $100 t-shirts
NEVER WAS: Christina Aguilera's obviously-blind stylist
FOREVER: Your "good butt" jeans
IN: Sumo wrestling
OUT: Professional Wrestling
NEVER WAS: Arm wrestling
FOREVER: College wrestling tournaments on ESPN
IN: The L Word
OUT: Will & Grace (why is it so cheesy now?)
NEVER WAS: Playing It Straight
FOREVER: Dynasty...especially now that the movie is coming out!
IN: The three black female finalists on American Idol
OUT: Claymates
NEVER WAS: Those Ford promotional segments
FOREVER: Paula Abdul when she's high on pills
IN: Jessica Simpson playing Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazzard movie
OUT: Jessica Simpson being teased for being "stupid"
NEVER WAS: Jessica Simpson singing
FOREVER: Nick Lachey's lips
IN: "Power-Bottoms"
OUT: Bitchy, catty bottoms
NEVER WAS: Barebacking
FOREVER: Letting him have a turn once in a while
IN: Oprah After The Show
OUT: The Sharon Osbourne Show
NEVER WAS: Living It Up With Ali & Jack
FOREVER: The women who lose their minds when Oprah does "My Favorite Things"
IN: Truck stop diners
OUT: Trucker hats, unless you are from Iowa (Ashton Kutcher is from Iowa...but are you?)
NEVER WAS: "Truck Stop Pickup," the low-budget porn my ex-boyfriend was in
FOREVER: Tonka Trucks
IN: Admitting it
OUT: Regret
NEVER WAS: Thinking you can get away with it
FOREVER: Enjoying yourself anyway
IN: Brini Maxwell
OUT: Queer Eye
NEVER WAS: Christopher Lowell, even though he's funny
FOREVER: Martha Stewart
IN: Skipping the plastic surgery and embracing your age
OUT: Botox parties
NEVER WAS: Looking like everyone else
FOREVER: Confidence
IN: Hairy chests
OUT: Guys who shave their legs/wax their eyebrows
NEVER WAS: Spending too much time primping
FOREVER: Confidence
IN: Madonna’s new tour
OUT: Kaballah trendiness
NEVER WAS: “True Blue"
FOREVER: "Vogue"
IN: The new Target in West Hollywood
OUT: Mega shopping malls in the suburbs
NEVER WAS: Wal-Mart
FOREVER: The Rose Bowl Flea Market
IN: "It's been great, but I think our relationship has come to an end."
OUT: "My phone was broken, I couldn't call."
NEVER WAS: "It's not you, it's me."
FOREVER: "Even though we're not dating anymore, can we still fuck?"
Haha, I ABSOLUTELY love it!! I still LOVE Will and Grace re-runs though!
Posted by: ProDumSpiroSpero | April 09, 2004 at 12:14 AM
LMAO. I love it...especially, the we're not dating anymore, but can we still...part. Yay, Dan!
Posted by: Steve | April 09, 2004 at 03:36 AM
Brilliant! "My phone was broken; I couldn't call" has always been the lamest of lame excuses.
Posted by: karsh | April 09, 2004 at 04:55 AM
loved. loved. loved! MORE, please.
Posted by: aaron elvis | April 09, 2004 at 09:28 AM
If hairy chests are in, what is your stance on hairy backs...definately an "Out" and "Never Was" rolled up into one.
Posted by: sarah | April 09, 2004 at 09:28 AM
Hummm... my question is who is the ex that is the porn star? Should I assume it LCS? LMAO. This entry is priceless!
Dan, you rock (of course you knew that already).
Posted by: Jason | April 09, 2004 at 09:37 AM
Remember that one time we dated, Dan? Remember? It was really short and you might have forgotten but can we still....
Posted by: hot toddy | April 09, 2004 at 11:04 AM
My phone was never broken before the call, but it did occasionally break in the middle of it ;-)
Posted by: sam | April 09, 2004 at 11:56 AM
This post is fantastic!!!!
Posted by: ginger | April 09, 2004 at 12:21 PM
Toddy... you remember that one time that we dated for like 5 minutes... yeah, does that mean we can still f...?
Of course I did date Dan for a few hours... so he gets priority. ;-)
Posted by: Jason | April 09, 2004 at 02:51 PM
I laugh because it's true. Hilarious. :)
Posted by: nicole | April 09, 2004 at 07:43 PM
Are you insane? Hello...Papa Don't Preach? La Isla Bonita?
The rest of the album, sure. But I'm keeping my baby, Dan. Come on.
Posted by: Brent | April 09, 2004 at 07:50 PM
hey i happen to love walmart and target for that matter.
Posted by: Amber | April 09, 2004 at 10:21 PM
HAHA! I absolutely loved this post.
Posted by: Ivan | April 11, 2004 at 06:41 PM
i know many things about me are on the out list.. but can we still be friends?
Posted by: bob | April 13, 2004 at 09:37 AM
Holy shit Batman. I am groovy again!! Hahaha!
Posted by: Scott | April 15, 2004 at 02:45 AM
Very clever, you are!
Posted by: Dana | April 15, 2004 at 06:01 AM
I so agree about the ex sex. I still have sex occasionally with my ex boyfriend and have no guilt about it. He is amazing in bed and we have such great sexual chemistry. It's too bad the relationship never worked but we are still the best of friends.
BTW . . . loved your article about Spring Break in the Bahamas. Hopefully you had fun and eventually got the name of your blonde friend. :-)
Take care.
Posted by: Jason | April 18, 2004 at 05:03 AM
Aliens with Mrs. Weaver is fabulous, good call. And Nute is hot.
Posted by: matt via tennessee | April 18, 2004 at 12:48 PM
Too funny! Im glad im not the only one who loves the WEHO Target.
Posted by: Darby | January 08, 2005 at 03:22 PM
FOREVER: The women who lose their minds when Oprah does "My Favorite Things"
hahahahahah. a thousand times yes!
Posted by: Melissa | January 11, 2005 at 01:00 AM